Hi.
This is my 1st time on this site and I (we...my siblings) are desperate for help. I'm the 2nd oldest of 6 siblings (5 f, 1 m). 4 of us have different roles in caring for our parents, the other 2 live overseas.
In 2018 we were hit with the harsh reality of both ma & dad's mental & subsequent physical decline. Because they did not keep us abreast of issues they were having, we were compelled to make some quick/difficult decisions when they returned from their snowbird adventures in FL. In-home care escalated to assisted living facility in a very short time. Eldest sibling (let's call "M"), has never been a "team" player, was only one who thought ma & dad should stay in their own home when siblings & PCP (after office personnel inspected house) reported not safe. Unfortunately she was the only one willing & able to be a live-in caretaker at that time. Since then, we have been living an absolute nightmare that has only gotten worse. "M" is mentally ill, unable to pay her own bills, make decisions for herself, remember anything, let alone work with the rest of us a team for the benefit of ma & dad. She continues to insist that she works 24/7 even though (for example) we had
If the offspring has special needs or mental illness this can change the dynamic. Kind of Martyr - Enabler relationship.
Is that what is going in here?
Can you please explain the details of your posting a little bit more so that we can better help you? Thanks!
You wrote that your parents are living in Assisted Living, and your sister is their live-in caregiver??? The words "Assisted Living" means that someone is living in a senior facility where the Staff at the facility take care of the residents. That your parents are paying rent to the senior facility.
Or do you mean your sister is living with your parents in their own home, and that she is doing the work of 3-shifts of caregivers each day? That can be extremely exhausting.
Please let us know what is the living situation to help us better to answer your question.
Is your Mother competent, or is she diagnosed with incompetency due to dementia?
Is your Father competent or is she diagnosed with incompetency due to dementia.
If one or neither of the parents is incompetent and there is no assigned POA, then there isn't a lot you or this other sibling can do.
You need to see an Elder Law Attorney to present your facts and get your options.
I sure wish you good luck.