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I have been trying to get my grandmother into nursing home care. My grandmother is paralyzed on her right side from a stroke, and has Alzheimer's and dementia. My mom is the only one to take care of her. It’s becoming too much for my mom who has shoulder pain and was in the hospital not too long ago and had to go to physical therapy for her leg. Unfortunately the agency that sends home assistance won’t allow my mom to do that. They constantly asked if she’s fallen recently and she has and the doctors even found bleeding on her brain. Once she was fine she had to return home where she doesn’t want to leave her room and can’t go outside. She wants to go places but we can’t take her due to having stairs and it’s making her depressed. Anything we tell the agency they just request more hours and won’t listen to us or the doctors that have requested assisted living, she needs around the clock care. It will be healthier for her physically and mentally. She has Medicare and Medicaid. Is there any way she can get into a nursing home without the agency, cause they don’t care at all.

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Her doctor needs to do a care assessment that reflects that she needs nursing home care. You can not just decide that anyone needs to go to a nursing home. Not saying you are, just trying to help you understand the process.

I wouldn't talk to the home health agency about this anymore. They are misleading you guys for some unknown reason. They don't have a thing to say about where someone needs to go for care.

As others have said, talk to her doctor and explain that home care is to much and putting her caregivers health and wellbeing at risk. That you really need assistance with getting her placed in the appropriate care facility.

Also contact your local area on aging and they can give you resources to help you get started.
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Doctor will need to write an order for nursing home care. Gma will need to get approved for Medicaid for long term care. Has this process started? It is a bit cumbersome and all GMA's financial records from the last five years will have to be provided to ensure that gifting of money or other assets has not occurred.
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MargaretMcKen May 2019
OP suggests Medicare is an option. Could you add on information for that? I don't know myself.
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Agency doesn't want to lose money
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cwillie May 2019
For once I agree with you shad, nobody is going to help send their client to the competition.
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The agency does not control where your grandmother should live and for sure they don’t overrule what the doctors say. In addition, they are putting your mother’s health at risk.

You need to have a very serious conversation, preferably today, with your grandmother’s primary care physician, or the one who ordered the in-home care. It sounds like Grandma is beyond Assisted Living and might need Skilled Nursing instead. Go through the doctor and explain to them that home care by your mother, you and/or the agency, is no longer sufficient and that you feel bullied by the current agency. I might even go so far as to call and send the agency a registered letter saying you are refusing any more care/visits from them. Ask the doctor to refer you to a facility.
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I can't see that this is anything to do with an agency that sends care workers to your home. You don't need their permission to find an assisted living place that's suitable. They are not responsible for organising it, anyway. It sounds as though you are being bullied because you don't know the system and what to do. Look around yourself. If you want to, tell the AL you choose that the care agency is trying to stop this happening, so that they know in advance if they get any wrong contacts from them.
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