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I am 25, my mom is 58. My family (dad and brother) and I have been noticing my mom's steady decline for a year or so. We have been asking her to go to the doctor, but she insists she is fine and COMPLETELY shuts down. She is not fine—last night she got up and ready for the day at 12:30am. She seems to be embarrassed of her decline and doesn’t want to talk about it. Us, on the other hand, are worried absolutely sick. Do we ease up and just let her decide when she’s ready? It’s hard to do so because it’s hard to watch. She lives with my dad because my brother and I are grown and out of the house. She is retired and stays home all day while my dad, 61, works. She does not cook for herself and has no social life. We are trying to let her know we love her and care about her and that’s why we want her to go, but it’s just not working.

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We have a similar situation with my Mom (~76 yrs old). She insists there's nothing wrong, even though she clearly knows something is. She is afraid to admit it, even to herself. We managed to get the DMV to suspend her license, and we took her to the doctor under the pretence that it was the way to get it back.

We made sure the doctor was thoroughly informed ahead of time through a couple of discrete phone calls and several emails. She finally was given a cognitive examine and failed it totally. The downside is she's still convinced the state will realize its "sinful" and "unconstitutional" mistake and restore her license that they had "no reason" to take away. Actually, that's a very small price to pay for getting her to a doctor and for the peace of mind knowing she'll never drive again.
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Thank you so much for your words. He can definitely use the patient portal, that is a great suggestion. Thank you 🙏🏼
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There's really not much you can do for her if she's not open to going to the Dr. And besides, she's your dads problem/responsibility, not yours. It's really up to him to insist she goes to the Dr, and he needs to be the one to go with her as well, so he can make sure the Dr. is well aware of everything that is going on. He can write the Dr. via the patient portal prior to her appt. with all the changes he has seen over the last year. That way the Dr. will have a heads up before he/she sees her. Your mom may be embarrassed and in denial that things with her are changing. She's awful young to have any of the dementias, but occasionally some younger folk do have what is called early onset Alzheimer's/dementia.
So tell your dad that if he really loves her, he will make an appt. for her and also take her, as living in denial helps no one. Good luck.
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