83 yr old widower with onset of dementia. He’s lived alone for 13 years in a house he built for my mother and hates the thought of being away from it for even one day.
It will only be one eye probably, then 2 wks later the other. In the meantime he will need eye drops.
Do you have POA. Do you have a Drs. letter saying that Dad is incompetent? If so, you can place Dad somewhere. It is no longer what he wants, its what he needs. With Dementia, he does not see this and probably never will.
The cataract surgery adds to the fun and games, but at the same time it is a really helpful excuse for everything you need to explain to him. E.g. "you need to stay here while your eye heals, Dad." "We'll talk about getting you home once your eye is better." "It will be a couple of weeks yet, Dad. Don't forget you've just had eye surgery!"
You will be saying this several times an hour, unfortunately. But it's better than having no reason at all that he can comprehend, and at least it will give you a couple of weeks' grace to see how things settle down.
So the cataract surgery is today - will you be able to accompany him? Based on our experience, I would expect the ophthalmic surgeon's nursing team to be brilliant at reassuring him and getting him safely through the procedure itself (they're used to the age group and its common problems) but you'll want to keep him calm and occupied before, and get him home quick after.
He just arrived here yesterday to undergo cataract surgery. He keeps thinking he can just go home and return in the morning. Problem is...we live in CO and his home is in PA.
Your profile says Dad lives across the country from you. This is asking a lot of him. He has lost his beloved wife. He has some serious health issues himself. Now his child, whom he has raised and provided for over many years, is asking him to relocate, move to a strange part of the country to live, and leave his home behind. As my husband would say, “I’m way too old for this $#*+”!
is there any way you can have a caregiver come in for Dad? Does he need 24/7 care? Maybe that would work out better than asking him to move away from his long-time home.
Thank you. We arranged an assessment with the 2 local professional care providers who went to my Dad’s home to visit with him and assess his needs. He was polite and answered their questions but refused any service that would involve someone coming into his home. His older brother was there for both interviews so he wouldn’t feel uneasy with a stranger. It didn’t matter. The next time they came to the house he turned them away. His dementia has worsened to the point that he should not be living alone. He is presently with us preparing to undergo cataract surgery. He forgets where he is and why. We continue to explain the situation to him which continues to upset him. We only want to protect and care for him.
Do you have POA. Do you have a Drs. letter saying that Dad is incompetent? If so, you can place Dad somewhere. It is no longer what he wants, its what he needs. With Dementia, he does not see this and probably never will.
Too late!
The cataract surgery adds to the fun and games, but at the same time it is a really helpful excuse for everything you need to explain to him. E.g. "you need to stay here while your eye heals, Dad." "We'll talk about getting you home once your eye is better." "It will be a couple of weeks yet, Dad. Don't forget you've just had eye surgery!"
You will be saying this several times an hour, unfortunately. But it's better than having no reason at all that he can comprehend, and at least it will give you a couple of weeks' grace to see how things settle down.
So the cataract surgery is today - will you be able to accompany him? Based on our experience, I would expect the ophthalmic surgeon's nursing team to be brilliant at reassuring him and getting him safely through the procedure itself (they're used to the age group and its common problems) but you'll want to keep him calm and occupied before, and get him home quick after.
is there any way you can have a caregiver come in for Dad? Does he need 24/7 care? Maybe that would work out better than asking him to move away from his long-time home.