My elderly mom, who has dementia, asks everyday, several times a day, about who is alive and who is dead. Is this common with Alzheimers? How do you respond?
I say whatever brings comfort to my OL. If she says “Is my sister Alice still living?” I say “I haven’t heard from her recently” or “Why do you ask”? or whatever I think can get her painlessly through her thoughts and into a new topic.
You might be able to move to “She made the BEST BROWNIES” or “I’ll never forget the games we send to play together” and get her away from the birth/death distinctions with memories based thoughts of those who have departed.
It is common for this to happen, and I am grateful to be able to say that my LO hasn’t suffered emotionally from her losses since her dementia took hold of her.
What counts to your LO is that YOU are her current source of security and comfort and safety.
Could you write it out on a fairly big paper in large print? If you then put the paper somewhere she is most likely to see it then she might be able to register the facts and hopefully not continue to ask you over and over. If she does tell her to refer to the list. Hope you find some solutions and peace.
When you respond and tell her that "Uncle George" died does she get upset? If she gets upset hearing that someone died I would try to change the subject. Just say.."Oh, I have not heard from "Uncle George" in a while, how about we go fix some tea?" With someone that is still alive tell her they are doing well and ask if she can tell you stories about "Aunt Betty" and the trip they took to the beach. This way you might get some family history and keep her occupied for a while.
You might be able to move to “She made the BEST BROWNIES” or “I’ll never forget the games we send to play together” and get her away from the birth/death distinctions with memories based thoughts of those who have departed.
It is common for this to happen, and I am grateful to be able to say that my LO hasn’t suffered emotionally from her losses since her dementia took hold of her.
What counts to your LO is that YOU are her current source of security and comfort and safety.
If she gets upset hearing that someone died I would try to change the subject. Just say.."Oh, I have not heard from "Uncle George" in a while, how about we go fix some tea?"
With someone that is still alive tell her they are doing well and ask if she can tell you stories about "Aunt Betty" and the trip they took to the beach.
This way you might get some family history and keep her occupied for a while.