My AD sister just turned 59 and had a major seizure. She cannot eat or drink and was put into hospice care at our home. This is tearing my heart out. It has been 17 days without fluids and 19 days without food. I feel guilty sometimes for wondering why it is taking so long for her to pass. A moment later I am totally bereft from the knowledge that she will soon be gone from my life. Has anyone else gone through this?
Prayers.
My best friend (49) also took hospice care at her mom's home for a couple of weeks, I went to see her everyday in the afternoon. One morning her mom called saying that she was about to go. I ran over and she was panting and seemed to be fighting to stay. I whispered in her ear that I'd keep to my promise to watch out for her mom (Two weeks prior, we broke out laughing about that the instant she uttered that request because we both knew it would be a little nuts for me with my AD husband. Five yrs later, it's been great). I also whispered that she's got to be the one to come back for me when my time comes because I wouldn't trust anyone else. I told her I loved her and our friendship and told her to go.
I visit twice weekly because it is a distance, and I know she is under great care in AL. Every time I visit there are typically 2 nurses in her room overseeing her. One of them sings to her. The last time I visited I told her how much I loved her and how much I appreciated her teaching me how to be successful in my career and my life.
My 89 year-old mother has been on this rollercoaster for almost a month. She went into hospice transition (end of life) on September 28, when AL thought she wouldn't make it through the night. She has been bedridden ever since. She has only been drinking Ensure and water for weeks, but today I was told she ate part of a waffle. It was so depressing to hear her say she was in pain so I had them administer medication and called hospice to see if she could be on a drip.
She is weak and declining but still remains relatively lucid. After seeing her for the first time in this phase I honestly thought it would only be a matter of days before she passed but after almost a month I'm thinking it could be weeks or even months. Like you, I want to see her out of her misery but the body seems to give up when it is ready.
You have my sympathies.
A warning, though -- Ensure has a ton of sugar in it, and my mom actually developed terrible gout in her hands from it. Make sure the hospice people watch that and consider giving her the lower sugar version.
My husband was under hospice care for the last 22 months of his life in our home, and there were several times over that period that I was told the end was near, and so I would try and ready myself best I could, only for him to continue to beat the odds.
When once again I was told on Aug.5th of last year that he would be dead in 3 days, I in fact knew that this time he actually was going to die, but had no idea that his 3 days would turn into 41 days,(he died on Sept. 14th) all of which were without food, and about 25 of them without drink. It was very hard to witness his long dying process, but I was also very thankful that I was able to honor his wish to be able to die at home, which he did.
I'm so sorry that you are having to go through this with your sister and her being at such a young age, but just know that God will be with you every step of the way. And that is my prayer for you, that you feel His presence, and that He gives you the strength to carry on for the sister you love so. May God bless you and keep you.
Somehow try to accept this and hold her hand and send your love and positive vibes to her through your physical connection. Try to find peace and let her go. Sorry that your sister is leaving you at such a young age. I'm sure you are already starting the grieving process. I'm also sure that her time is very limited.
Sorry for your loss.
I'm so sorry -- dying is a tough process to watch. Lean on the resources that hospice offers, because they're wonderful.