My mother has dementia, probably middle-stage, and is extremely agitated nearly all the time. The staff at the rehab where she is currently admitted has expressed sympathy to me. She's supposed to go to an assisted living facility on Tuesday but has this issue with me having picked a place and her not being able to see it, blah blah. It's a very nice place, but there's no telling her that. I think she's just dreading being in another facility, meals at a certain time, maybe being reminded of her age and illness. She continues to carry on and is impossible to reason with. I'm not sure how to make sure she gets taken to the facility.

Incidentally, I don't yet have POA (I know, foolish) but the lawyer is coming on Monday! So hopefully that'll be all set.

Thanks for your input.

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does she have an official diagnosis?

mildly put, mom, you cannot go home .. final it up , how nice, “ you will love it” … mom it’s not like rehab.. so on and so forth..but don’t let yourself feel guilty because she doesn’t want to move.

my next thought is, if she does have dementia, or starting down that road , I would consider a place that also has a memory care, and that it’s Medicaid eligible, if the time comes.

in the meantime get all your ducks in a row.. the paper signed allowing medical to talk to you. Durable and medical POA s . DNR, living will … etc

i wish you peace with this journey…
Helpful Answer (2)
Cover999 Jun 23, 2022
They used to show commercials touting food being served by a waiter or waitress, fun activities like singing to get the potential resident excited about moving the facility.
You cannot get POA for a demented person. They are not capable of conferring it. I would take great care with this. Unless your Mom is perfectly capable of understanding what she is doing, this won't wash.
As to making her agree to going into care, she likely will NOT agree to. So any transfer would be done against her wishes which would require guardianship or conservatorship.
The Attorney, who will explain that a demented individual cannot grant POA, will help you get, hopefully, temporary guardianship. There will be then a court process to put you over Mom as guardian.
So study up on what your obligations are in this role. The attorney can felt you know how to get put on accounts as POA, and how to keep meticulous records of every penny in and every penny out of Mom's finances.
Wishing you good luck. Hope you will update.
Helpful Answer (2)
raynak26 Jun 23, 2022
Thank you but the attorneys will assess whether she has enough competence to sign (and I believe they use a pretty low bar as guardianship is a long and difficult, not to mention costly process as I understand it). That said, I've been told I don't even need POA to have her transferred, but we'll see what happens. This isn't the first time I've gone through this with her but she just seems particularly adamant this time. Anyway, thanks for sharing your thoughts, I appreciate it.
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