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So this morning, in email there was an email from Capital One stating 2 new subscriptions were charged to an account, one for porn and one for BET+ on Roku. We tore the house apart looking for the credit card and it was under the cushion where workers sit. So, the credit card company was called. A Roku was bought and there were several Amazon charges for movies, exercise equipment and personal care. Amazon cannot look up purchases by credit card number, only by account information which I do not believe, but whatever. I sent an email to Roku and am waiting back.


So, the agency was called, they said all they can do is ask employees if they have Roku. They said it happens often and they cannot do anything if their employees lie to them. They so stated it is a holiday weekend, they are short staffed and it would have to wait until HR comes in Tuesday.


The day all of the purchases started, there was a nasty worker at the house. She had attitude because I told her there was Covid exposure at the time in house and she needed to wear a mask. She said she lost hers. So I put a box of 50 disposable out. After the shift, the whole box was gone with one wrapper left on the floor. So at that point, the agency did not believe masks were taken because they provide them to employees.


So I want none of these people except the 2 long term people here. Would you cancel all other help? What would you do?


Thanks.

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They pulled all the caregivers except the long term ones. One works five days a week, every other weekend and the other works on Thursday nights. This is the regular one's off weekend.

They replaced the workers with an old lady with as many health problems as the client. She has one of those canes with four prongs on the bottom just not one.

She talks and talks, just doesnt shut up, she is 86 with diabetes, heart problems, asthma, back problems and arthritis. She is not an aide and cannot do the work like pull up a depends, she is a companion.

All weekend 8 hours a day of 2 old ladies instead of one yelling, Stacy, Stacy can you do this or that. We are hungry can you go buy KFC, wth. I have a migraine and the lavender oil and asprin are not touching it.

This is so beyond not acceptable. Medicaid dollars at work.
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I would notify the police and file a report.
This is theft, fraud and the police will handle some of this.
Background checks are good to a point. It will flag if a person has been convicted but it will not show anything if the person was not convicted of a crime. So if this does go to court you need to be present and keep in touch with the lawyers. And this is not easy if you are a caregiver when you do not have help. I think agencies know this and would expect you not to show up.
Anyway I would make sure that the agency knows not to send the recent replacements and to keep the 2 you have had long term.
I would install cameras that will video activity. You can not record audio unless you get consent and I doubt you would get it from each person. but video should be enough. You can not record in areas that one would expect privacy so no bathroom and not in a bedroom that they would use. (you can place a camera in your loved ones bedroom)
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Wow. Do you know the name of the nasty worker who was at the house the day the purchases got made and the masks disappeared? If you do call her out by name to her agency. Don't let them make excuses for their help like that because they've already been paid. Clients, their family, and their homes are supposed to be treated with respect by the worker. In no way is making charges on a client's credit card or walking off with their care supplies acceptable . Not should it be tolerated. Call that worker out by name to her agency. Then demand that the agency pay the expense of the charges and box of masks. If they refuse, do business with a different agency. Also, please make sure and understand that if you have agency caregivers coming into the home you must make sure all valuables like credit cards, check books, cash, jewelry, etc... are secured and locked up before they are allowed into the house to work.
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Stacy0122 Nov 2020
I am not family or on the careplan so I have no say. Family needs to.
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You're right, Stacey. Everything kind of pales in comparison to your client's issues. His poor mom! I am hoping for a good outcome. Is the pneumonia a result of COVID?
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Stacy0122 Nov 2020
From what his mom said, the first time he went to the hospital early last week, they gave him IVs and released him. He went back in Saturday night and has Covid pnemonia and is on a ventilator. The specialist suggested a private dr and comfort care. Due to his allergies and asthma and everything else, I do not think I have ever seen him not coughing or having breathing problems so honestly, I do not think it is good.

I know they are some kind of different religion, Greek Orthodox. She was talking about a 40 day period? I was not really understanding her through the tears.
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To go way off topic here. Today is rough.

My client is a nice guy but an idiot. One of those Covid deniers, no mask, even though he has one kidney due to cancer. His mom called me and the hospital suggested a private dr and comfort care. Pnemonia (sp) in both lungs. How do you explain that is hospice to a 93 year old?

My problems really feel insignificant now.
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AlvaDeer Nov 2020
We are now having a death a minute. It is a huge nation with a large populace, but we are seeing a lot of death now. I am hoping your own recovery is coming along OK. I think that NotGoodEnough's thing below going methodically through each issue is amazingly good, and hope it's food for your thought for the future.
I want to say that your home sounds absolutely charming. It sounds beautiful. Now if we could just wedge out your Unwelcome House Guest. Good luck, Stacy.
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Stacey, vent away. You are getting a raw deal, whatever is going on!
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notgoodenough Nov 2020
I totally agree, Stacey, it seems like you're really trying to go above and beyond for some people to whom you have no obligation, and they're repaying your kindness by taking total advantage.
If that's not the definition of "raw deal" I don't know what is.
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Am I understanding this correctly?

Your ex-MIL is living with you along with another (?) of her family members, who you are trying to get evicted - except that process is now on hold because of COVID restrictions?

Are they actual tenants? Or do you have to go the eviction route because they have lived under your roof for "X" number of days and now they have tenant rights?

I ask this, because if you are "just" a landlord, were I you, I would remove myself from any sort of caregiving responsibilities. Especially if there is a written lease. Being a landlord does not obligate you to also be the caregiver of anyone under your roof. If you are acting just as a landlord, I would send a letter, certified mail, to the POA telling him (her?) you will no longer be acting as the de-facto caregiver, you will no longer assume any responsibility for hiring/overseeing outside caregivers, and to remove your name as such from any doctors/medical facilities. Put everything in writing and keep records of who you sent it to and when you sent it. Keep a paper trail. E-mails are great, but for whatever reason I have found people seem to respond much more to actual paper than electronic communication; so even if you communicate electronically, send a letter after the fact.

If you are evicting because of squatter rights, were I you, I would contact an attorney versed in tenant/landlord disputes and explain all of this to them. Then ask what your criminal liability is in regards to caregiving your ex-MIL while you are waiting to get her removed.

In regards to the credit card fraud - I am going to assume the card is your ex-MIL's, since you say you were questioned by the police in regards to the illegal charges. If she isn't worked up about the charges, maybe you need to let it be also. I mean, if it's her card, it's her money; even if she's upset, let her or the POA deal with the phone calls. But really, and I'm not trying to be mean here, but if you're doing all the heavy lifting - so to speak - then it seems like the rest of them are willing to let you have at it. Maybe it's time for you to become a little passive-aggressive! However, if you are financially responsible for this card in any way, shape or form, call the card right away and tell them you don't recognize the charges, you did not authorize the charges, and you want them reversed. Then I would ask them (if indeed, you are somehow on this account) how you could remove yourself from the account.

Credit card fraud is so stressful, I don't blame you for being upset.

Good luck, I hope you can get this resolved sooner rather than later.
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Stacy0122 Dec 2020
Thank you, but I am not good at passive agressive and no one would ever say I have a filter. She know exactly what I think of her. I have printed EOs, with the POAs lies highlighted but you know unless you kiss her a** and say muddy, muddy, I love you, your SOL.

I had one court hearing for eviction, the judge did a 30 day adjournment at the Medicaid attorney request. Last week, all hearings got postponed to Feb 2021. The man who runs our volunteer FD is a witness for me because of all the calls to him and his calls to POA. I turned all of my user name and password for Amazon over to the police so f*ck them if they want to look at receipts for imported pasta, shelf stable almond milk, seeds and oils, I do not care. Just done with it.

I turned the breakers off the utility kitchen, there is now an induction burner. No more heating with the oven, 78 is fine. I cancelled Charter phone and internet because I am no longer paying for it. POA can buy an SD card and she can use her pad for entertainment and phone calls. It is not my problem she presses buttons and it is in Filipino and has no memory. I guess Medicaid can pay for the phone and tv if they can hire an eviction lawyer, right?

So, the other night after I posted, I told her I was done with her sorry a** and her and her family were grifters and vendictive POS. She said I wanted her to get placed and die and I said I was willing to play the odds. She said POA does not like getting drug into things and I said I really do not care what he likes because neither did I. I told her to call someone who give two s**ts about her because she is such a "c" word that no one will do anything about it.

They told her they would pick her up at 1 pm yesterday so she did not have to deal with me being mean. They did not show and did not return her calls. I laughed and said go figure.
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Capital One should have a fraud department to assist in pursuing this theft. Tell them its a case of elder abuse.
Notify the sitter agency that the caregiver is not to be allowed back. Sounds like she has a nasty attitude.
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AlvaDeer Nov 2020
I am not certain WHAT is happening in this, but I think the problem is that this theft was perpetrated by the caregivers of her tenant ON the tenant and the tenant (albeit non paying), has a POA. So Capital One is unlikely to even speak with Stacy, I am guessing. But like I said I don't much understand what happened here, or even who this unwanted tenant is. Stacy, my partner, who used to do commercial real estate management says that given this Care Agency already told you they do not "vet employees", and given there was a theft in your home, you could report the theft to the police, insist that this agency no longer allow their employees on your property and tell the police you are "living in fear" of these criminals and they cannot be on your property. This may get the agency forbidden and may cause the POA to actually move this unwanted person from your home. While you cannot kick her out due to Covid and tenant law right now you do not have to have strangers who are not vetted coming and going in your own home. He can move her to care, or he can take her home. Good luck. I am sure this is very frustrating.
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I spent 15 hours in holding/ questioning over this. I am not in the greatest mood. You know, you can laugh or cry or tell the police why they need to be defunded why you are waiting for a lawyer which of course I did .

If I was a violent person, I would love to smack some people.
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BarbBrooklyn Nov 2020
Okay, I'll bite. How did YOU get arrested for someone else stealing from you?
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Stacy, this is your ex's mother, correct?

WHY is she in your home again? Why did you allow it?
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I cannot understand why Gertie is in your home.
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Stacy0122 Nov 2020
M. ditched her to force her into a home, moved in here. Medicaid did not understand 2 hours of wound care twice a day on top of 2 hours of these blue boot things attached to a machine that is supposed to improve circulation is too much for a person on top of work. So Mr. Big Stuff took her for a weekend and changed her address. Everything else is Whitmer Covid rules with respite, NH and court evictions. The Medicaid nurse/sw does phone visits since March and she hasnt been to a dr since before March 18th, it is all telephone so no one realizes the deterioration.

Thanks for asking.
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My house, is not a house per say, it is more of a stone cottage with alot of pines around it. So there is more of a main floor and a loft, I guess is the best description. I hate cleaning so my living are is the main floor. You walk in the front door and you go to my area or the loft. My area is like, kitchen/dining, a bathroom, dressing/ laundry area, a few bedrooms, home office, a tv theatre, gym and game room. A garage/workshop is attached to a greenhouse with a walkway with supply cabinets. Upstairs is my junk room and where she stays then a soundproof studio in back.

So, UG had a birthday Jan 11th, mine is 22nd. Happy birthday to me, poa had her address changed to mine since his brother was in a spare room. I was going through eviction then Whitmer shut it down, the whole state. So about a month and a half ago, she reopened...all during this time POA just dumped this on me. So we went to court, poa said HER house was not livable because no maintenance was done. So I got quotes, to make it livable, $62k for repairs. My mom says just pay it but it makes me sick to my stomach. Now Whitmer has shut courts in my area down until Feb 2021, so I am f*cked.

I am not on the careplan, no one will listen to me, a violation of HIPPA. She gives me no money for rent, etc. It all drives me nuts.

I have two cats one is a black Manx witch cat, lol. She hates unwanted guest as does the other one. So, it is a problem they can not explore and hiss or scratch her.
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AlvaDeer Nov 2020
Sounds awful, but I am thinking ER dump. If she leaves, it is your home and you can say she is not safe to return there without 24/7 care, that you cannot be responsible for someone who is a tenant in unsafe conditions. Sounds like that is really what it is amounting to, in reality. It IS a dilemma.
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Stacy, can you fill out your profile so others have an understanding of your situation? Thanks.
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Alva, it is MY house, mine.

Caregiver A: good but constantly has car problems, doesnt show and tells people she doesnt need a home

Caregiver B: good but steals tp, bleach and time. Also uses a utility oven to hit 90 rather than 77 but will dump a commode

Caregiver c: cooks for her family functions w food I buy, falsifies time and wont dump a commode

Caregive d: robs the house

Caregiver e: more health problems than pt. with parkinsons, cannot pick up a gallon of water

Caregiver f: Ghetto thief, masks and ppe. Asks how to use an ear thermometer, walked in on ME in the shower, offered to clean me. When I said no, came down with the commode and dumped it in my tub.

So, B is the best. The thing is it is m0y house. Why do I need constant theft? It is not Covid, christ, as an essential worker I was not locked down, it has only been the last few weeks. I do not want theives in my house, that is why it is on me.

Oh, and I dont eat turkey but I made a meal because "poa" was supposedly quarantined which was all BS like I said it was. Aholes give me Covid and I test negative twice while they are still quarantined from end of Oct. Then show up with no sanitizer, masks, etc. I am not stupid but I am hot.
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AlvaDeer Nov 2020
I know it is your house, but you don't have to be responsible for the theft perpetrated on what is basically your tenant, and in fact I doubt that the chargecard companies will even allow you to help report it unless she is right there. Even the caregivers aren't hired by you, and you aren't responsible for monitoring them or what they do, right? Unless there is something I am completely missing here.
I guess I don't understand what your "unwanted tenant" is actually in the household; I had thought she was just a tenant. I am thinking I must be wrong at this point.
Is there a way to lock these caregivers out of your portion of the house? Maybe that is the next step. I know. Lots I don't get about how this works at your house.
And by the by, Stacy, you can rest assured, sworn on the very lives of my children, I NO WAY believe that YOU are RR; I cannot imagine where that comes from, nor who ever would think such a thing. To my mind I can't imagine two people more different.
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I've had a CapOne card for 15 years. Every year I have "the annual hacking" of my account. I report it to CapOne. They ask me to verify which charges are not mine. They close the card and send me a new one. I'm not responsible for the theft purchases. There's so much fraud and theft they don't even pursue it. One year there was a $6000 charge to BestBuy. Either the vendor or the cc company is the loser. I can't do anything about it. Just so I don't have to be responsible for the false charges. The PoA is responsible for locking down all the sensitive info: cc's, checks, driver's license, passports, passwords, bank cards, medications, etc. I mean, put it all in a fireproof safe and lock it. Whenever there's strangers coming and going from a home, it is ripe for abuse. I would request new people. Keep requesting new people until the PoA lands on ones who fits the bill. That's what I do with Visiting Angels. They are very accommodating, if they have the people. We're in a labor shortage right now, so tempered expectations.
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AlvaDeer Nov 2020
Geaton, that's what I was told. In most cases they do not pursue. I was told one where they ordered 100s of pairs of sneakers, they said they were pursuing a case; in another said they likely would not. In either case I would not be allowed to know anything or be a part of it; just closed out the card, issued another, took away those clearly fraudulent changes. I think Stacy is trying to work with a tenant (unless I am wrong) on theft perpetrated by the tenant's caregivers (I could be wrong; I am not clear on relationship). I think that will be difficult.
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I came in hot today, really hot. All night boop-boop notifications of declined charges. So anyone with virgin ears should not read this vent.

So I contact the police, only her or POA can file a report, well there is a wasted hour. POA shows up der ta der, f*cking idiot, has his brats use a Suzuki 125 dirt bike over my wet septic field. So, I printed the fraud emails, der ta der, f*cking, my mommy says no. What a POS, I blew and he left. I went up to the unwanted guest and told her she has no problem making false accusations about people but when its real, she worries about ruining people's lives. She said, "I guess I cant please everyone". I came so close to losing it. Damn, govenor shut down courts til Feb and I cant get her out of the house.

Then, I send a text to her daughter out of country and she asks why I am mad.
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AlvaDeer Nov 2020
I guess I didn't know the POA was there at all, Stacy. Let him handle it. They won't want to talk to you if you have no power or jurisdiction over her.
I don't know why you are taking it on?
I hope the covid is loosening it's hold a bit on you all, at least.
Sorry it's such a bad night; I hope there is at least leftover turkey and gravy.
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Cancel the credit card now. Get statements immediately from credit card companies, banks, and any other financial institutes. Cancel any other accounts that have been tampered with. Dispute all that you can not verify as belonging to your loved one. Try to pinpoint dates (times?) of the thefts. THEN, notify the police and the agency that the "caregiver" belongs to. Provide a detailed list of the thefts along with the amounts and a total. Tell them you have notified the police and expect their cooperation. That "caregiver" should be caught and expect to suffer consequences for their actions.
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Considering other comments and concerns, in addition to what I said prior, I would seriously consider getting locks changed out as well.
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I'd be notifying my local police dept, and looking for another agency. Their attitude and response to you is unacceptable. This worker needs to have a record of her criminal activity starting now if there wasn't one prior so that it is prevented from being inflicted on others. Do they even DO pre hire background checks? BLECH!
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I was the victim twice of charges to my card over the last many many years. Have only the one card and a long long history with them. As I use it ONLY for Amazon, it was pretty clear who pilphered the number. However, I was told that they NEVER discuss their investigations or the results of them.
They simply took the charges I didn't make off the card. Now this wasn't a card that was laying about, or someone accessing and probably using my computer or phone to order with. One case they called me and asked if I ordered like 300 pairs of Nike shoes sent to a New York Address. Ummmmm, no. And in the other case it was makeup, makeup and more makeup. I told them to look back at my charges. If it's a book it's mine. If it is makeup it isn't. Pretty much had a good laugh, but I now call my charge card several times every month and keep track of all purchases on a calendar.
I am uncertain what a "Roku" is. But, oh well.
Is this YOUR card that was used, Stacy?
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This is the final email from Roku:

Hi Stacey,

I understand that you want to resolve the issue and want to know who used the card. My apology but we are unable to locate that information. In order to us to know the charges we need to get the information for he email address that link to the Roku account and the serial number of the devices. Please be advised that you need to contact your bank about the charges to dispute it and get a replacement card. Hope that everything will be fine on your end.


This is so fricking stupid any machine can look things up by card number.

The problem with getting a new agency is this is a new one. There are Medicaid preferred vendors so the list is limited.
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gdaughter Nov 2020
THEN NOTIFY MEDICAID THEY SHOULD BE REMOVED FROM THE LIST AND you are going to hold THEM responsible for forcing you to use an agency that hires/uses criminals!
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Thanks.

I just got an email back from Roku, about logging into her non-existent account to cancel.

As for agencies, the govenor allocated CARES act money for a $1600 bonus for newly hired caregivers and they are pulling qualified CNAs from agencies to work in facilities or hospitals which are at capacity and short staffed. So, to be quite blunt, they are scraping the bottom of the barrel. The largest provider in the state closed home care operations to focus on hospice and there are major shortages no matter who you use.

The agency stated maybe the charges were authorized. The person does not have any type of advice like Roku, Firestick and does not even have a smart tv. The pad she uses does not even have a Google icon, it is hidden and wouldnt know what to do if she opened it. Half the time it is in Philipino or another language she does not speak. It is a child one with Casino games.

The cameras are installed outside, on medications, the safe and my junk area where my deceased grandmother's silver, jewels and antiques were placed.

About two months ago, we had a worker who was stabbed by her boyfriend. He ended up marrying her so she couldn't testify against him. They showed up in the middle of the night, pulled a gun and took my phone and tools which had her messages about what he did. Since then, I have been really moody, do not really sleep at night and have very little tolerance. I do not believe in guns, so do not suggest it. I really do not believe in locking doors either and it is a really rough adjustment.

Capital One is disputing charges now but ugh. The people here do not want to call the police because $500 could ruin a life which is not going over very well with me. I am enraged.
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FloridaDD Nov 2020
WHAT people do not want to call the police?  You can do that. 

You need to start locking doors
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Capital One will cancel this charge to the card, of course. They are also responsible for investigations, and they will NOT inform you of what they find. Given this order was likely made from a home phone it is more difficult. So that takes care of this charge. It will be necessary of course to keep money, charge cards and account information securely locked in a small safe bolted to your floor; even that can be breached.
Especially be careful with debit cards. They are easily used and they have fewer protections than charge cards.
Are there other agencies you can use? What is this agencies vetting process in terms of criminal history? You have a right to know this, but of course they cannot know every detail about their employees.
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First, report to Credit Card company that charges were unauthorized. 

Second, file theft report with police.

Third, look for new agency.
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File theft report with police. Amazon can tell police where the items were shipped like exercise equipment. You can tell agency you don’t want new workers but they might leave you without coverage if someone calls in. You will need to have card owner sign affidavit that they didn’t purchase. If items bought on internet, there is a trail..
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I’m sorry you’re going through this, and the agency acting like it’s no big deal is shocking to me!

This is theft, call the cops!

I would not have caregivers around that can’t be trusted. Tell the agency not to send the ones you suspect and tell them you are filing a police report for theft.

Also, can you install cameras? They are pretty easy and cheap and you can watch your LO and the caregivers! In fact tell whoever comes into the home there are security cameras.
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