My grandma was very healthy 86 after a few infections and a long hospital stay she is in hospice. I brought her home two weeks ago, I have a sister that lives about 10 minutes away grandma raised yes both. Grandma and I share a house. We thought grandma only had a few days, as she wasn't eating or drinking in the hospital. She came home is drinking water pretty good and ice cream I make a high protein mixture. Prior to getting sick mentally competent. Luckily I have church people come over a few days a week so I can take a shower or go to the grocery store. My grandma just had a bif Bowen movemrnt thst went every where I had to cream it ou, she is bed ridden, mentally she us not with it any more she fought me the whole time then though I was a nurse at the hospital ans wanted to go home, ladt night she had a rough night up every hour so I got no sleep and where is my sister no where to be seen, I am tired smell horrible as u didn't do well with poop clean up, tired, barely eat I love my grandma and will make the end of her life the best I can, but how do some of you do it for years? How do you not hate family that doesn't help? My sister and I are close she has shown up for 30 minutes every few days. Once she did stay long enough fir me to take a shower and she acted like she was giving the best gift ever. I have list respect for her. When I mentioned to her about having to get up so much in the middle if the night how tired. Was she said well you want to gave a baby you have yo with them so you are getting use to it, my grandma was an amazing woman. Though during Christmas Day we got our Christmas miracle she was lucid.
Hospice is not just a six month end of life program. It will also provide at home care for an unlimited time for those with diminishing health, not expected to improve, such as Alztiemers.
Even with some help, sole caregiving is very difficult and stressful. Well meaning friends and relatives cannot realize the problems involved, but it is what it is, and you must provide some time for yourself, or you will end needing care.
Look also for local support groups and volunteers.
The experience you are having is really quite frequent. The answer is to set up a schedule for you to have a break and treat this break time as a job. Do not let your break be disturbed or overruled. (You will find plenty of times when you simply can't meet your own needs. You are the best support your Grandma has.)
I have worked with caregivers both hands on and long distance for over 25 years. My advice to all of them is to remember you must be health first. Sounds selfish, not at all, if you can't get the breaks and rest - how will you be able to provide the support necessary for your loved one? Make a list of help you need, use this list to answer the frequent question 'Can I do anything?' or 'How can I help?'. Take people up on the necessary help to give you more time to provide quality caregiving. You will be surprised at how much help is available. Check with your church (as you mentioned), get extra help with Hospice (they are there to help) and check out Respite Care.
Make a list of what you would like to do when a out of the blue help is offered. Keep a Respite Pack for yourself. That pack should have a blanket, a book or magazine, something wonderful to eat (something you would treat yourself with.) and be sure to take advantage of each moment. I know you are tired (been there done that - as have many stories from caregivers who have used this blueprint and acknowledged how different the caregiving experience was after implementing the plan.
Talk to the Elderly Care department in your city/town and see what services they can provide. With my aunt we got someone to clean (very cheap) and do laundry, meals on wheels, and someone to come in to give the caretaker a break.
And when you vote, don't forget that there services need to be funded to exist.
BTW, hospice is a short-term end-of-life service. When they are called in, it is not expected to go on for more than six months. This too shall pass, and you can take pride in what you've done... BUT TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF WHILE YOU GO THROUGH IT... else you're no good to anybody.
And yes, adult diapers!
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