How do you feel guilt-free sending husband back to the nursing home?

You don't sound like you're feeling much guilt to me, but instead glee at the thought of him once again being out of your hair so you can have peace and happiness back in your life, like you had when he was in the NH for 9 months.
You said it yourself that it was "wonderful" while he was away then, and of course it was. Who wants to be around someone so negative and who yells a lot? No one I know. So get him placed ASAP and get on with enjoying your life. There's nothing wrong with that. In fact you deserve it! You've already given up too much.

Just affirming with the others that you know in your heart you've done your best and can't give more without damage to yourself. Then where will he be if you tank? It's the only logical solution. Him going into a facility is the "least bad" option. That's often how it goes at this juncture. May you receive peace in your heart!

Place him back in the NH. My DH and I have talked about this. He does not want to end up in a home. He is 75 I am 73. He is 5`10 Im 5`. He weighs 200 to my 135. I have told him I will care for him as humanly possible but I cannot promise. And if I ever do need to care for him, he can't be stubborn. He has never been abusive in any way. Quite the opposite. If he had been abusive, I would never have brought him home after having peace for 9 months.

Was he on Medicaid while he was in?

Did you split your assets, if not do it now. See an elder lawyer and have them split. His half will go to his care. Then Medicaid can be applied for. You remain in the home, have a car and enough or all of your monthly income to live on. Then you can set boundries. When you visit and he gets abusive get up, tell him u will visit when he is in a better mood, and walk out. What is he going to do to you.

This is where the chickens come home to roost. Life hasn’t been that good with him, it’s not going to get better, and the situation is not of your making. Why would you want him around? He yells at you and that’s abuse. You know, things have coasted along for quite a while. Maybe you should have left long ago. His past behavior is catching up with him and this is your chance to boot him out. The person who gets to yell now is YOU. What you get to yell is, “goodbye.”

I was about to write "you didn't CAUSE this issue, thus you have no reason to feel GUILTY.", but Lealonnie beat me to it!

Grief, regret, sad, yes. Guilty, no.

If he was one of those husbands who always said "you made me yell at you" or the like, consider how your half century of conditioning is causing you to think this way.

Become his advocate, not his nurse.

The fact is, time and illness have caused this situation for your husband, not YOU. It's not your fault that he's in the condition he's in, so for him to blame you is unfair and downright ridiculous, when you stop to think about it. Lay aside the guilt which is emotions talking, and use logic to look at this situation for what it is: unmanageable for you and not the best for HIM either. I don't know if there is dementia going on with your DH, but it sounds like there could be, in addition to physical problems, making the whole situation 10x worse. He needs more help than you can possibly provide him, and the SNF will use teams of people working 24/7 to do what YOU are trying to accomplish ALONE as one person. This is the logic you need to use when the 'guilt' starts setting in.

You tried bringing him home for 6 weeks and it's not working; you gave it your best shot, and now it's time to get him back to the nursing home, with no guilt and no looking back. He'll be in good hands there and you'll get your life back and be able to look after your own health and heart condition. There's no shame in doing such a thing, you deserve to.

Wishing you the best of luck with a difficult situation.

A person who’s old enough to have been married 52 years is likely past the point of it being sustainable to provide care to someone for very long who doesn’t cooperate, requires a lift, is incontinent, and doesn’t desire to get up. And I see that you also have a heart condition. Too often caregivers die before the person they’re caring for, the strain and workload become too much. When you’re stressed out and exhausted you’re no good to him, and it sure sounds like he’s more than a handful. You have nothing to feel guilt over, you’ve done nothing wrong. You can feel sad that it can’t be different or better, but any guilt is misplaced. I hope you’ll get your husband back into a place with professional care, visit him and be his advocate, limit the amount of his negativity you listen to, and find activities and people you enjoy. Your deserve a life too, you matter