Follow
Share
Find Care & Housing
In August, you posted, "Husband is mostly bed bound. Taking care of incontinence and stroke issues. Getting dependable care has not worked.
I hate having to care for him after many years of not being cared for or provided for by him."

How do you plan to take any types of trips with a husband in such a condition, I guess I don't understand? If there is an urgent need to travel, I'd hire a nurse to travel with you and to take care of him along the way, or hire medical transportation for him. Otherwise, you'd have way too much to deal with, trying to care for a mostly bed bound man with double incontinence issues, and such trips would become hellish for you, I would think. If you're on a plane, 2 people can't fit into the lavatory on board, so changing a brief would be impossible. If he were to have a BM on a plane, he'd have to sit in it for the length of the trip, and everyone on board would have to bear the odor emanating from his soiled brief. Not a great idea, unless you hire a nurse to deal with all of it.

If you're traveling in a car, you'd need to find a restroom to accompany him into. But again, if he has such mobility issues, it doesn't make sense to me how you'd be able to manage him alone w/o help of some kind. Nor why you'd want to take any trips at all with a doubly incontinent elder, unless there was an urgent need to do so. Then I'd look into hiring medical transportation or a nurse to go along with you.

Good luck.
Helpful Answer (9)
Reply to lealonnie1
Report
Agentsmith Dec 17, 2022
Wait until its your turn dearie. I had a stroke after years of marriage and found out that vows go out the window. No for better or worse stuff. I am being punished for having a stroke,
My wife, now an ex, left me alone day after day, I had to fix my own breakfast. Incontince was minor compared to most, but still she complained about "cleaning up your sh**".
Praise god my a*s.
(0)
Report
See 1 more reply
If getting to a toilet quicker is the issue, some prepping & planning may help.
- Knowing the route, where the public toilets are (disabled facilities if you need extra space to help)
- Bringing a urinal bottle to use instead.
- Easy trousers, no fiddly belts - eg elastic waisted.

If past that stage & incontinent then *aim to contain*. This is what the Continence Clinic RN advised;
- If mobility good, take a change bag: wipes, rubbish bags, spares (pull-ups/pads/clothing). Cleanup & change as required in public disabled bathrooms.
- If mobility poor, have to return home for cleanup. Consider falls risk + injury to caregiver. Take a supply bag: wipes, jumper, blanket. Jumper to tie around waist (for walkers) & blanket to throw over lap (in wheelchair) to hide the mishap. Then exit.
- Talk to Doctor about suitability of longer term solutions eg catheters & leg bags.
- Consider getting as many appointments as possible via telehealth/phone. Obviously many have to be in person eg podiatrists, wound checks. Try for services that can visit.
- Consider having an Aide accompany when out.

For me, double incontinence was my limit. After some car seat puddles I insisted pullups be used & I placed protection pad on seat. I stopped providing transport after the first double incontinence in public.
Helpful Answer (7)
Reply to Beatty
Report
JBog4me Nov 26, 2022
Thank you for your reply. I am ashamed of so many people saying don't take them or put them in a facility.
We travel to outpatient therapies and make short trips, changing him in public bathrooms. He is double incontinent, right side paralysis but can stay standing with support and supporting self on wheelchair back. So I change him standing up and throw diaper in plastic grocery bag.
It takes planning and bringing along supplies and clothes change. If a diarrhea day, we alter plans.
Thanks again. Stroke stricken individuals need to be seen and need to go see.
(4)
Report
You don't.

There comes a time when traveling for pleasure is done.

If it's necessary travel, then take the suggestions below about hiring nurses and medical transportation.
Helpful Answer (7)
Reply to MJ1929
Report

Don't. He doesn't need to be out anywhere! Other people don't want to smell, touch or be contaminated with feces; that's a health hazard for you and other people. Years ago I drove on a two-day one-way trip and two-days back with a male who was sometimes urinary incontinent. He insisted on peeing in a bottle while sitting in the front seat next to me. Sometimes I'd empty the bottle at a rest stop but other times it would be full and he'd open the car window and empty it out as we were driving on the interstate. He could not be reasoned with and he wouldn't wear Depends. Never again. As a caregiver, let me tell you: there's a time to give up. This is that time for you.
Helpful Answer (7)
Reply to Fawnby
Report

such an easy question I am a pilot and often at 7000ft nature calls and In a small plane there are no bathrooms. They make urinary devices that slip over the penis and can catch the urine.
they make a female version too.
Helpful Answer (6)
Reply to Sample
Report
Endure Nov 26, 2022
Yes, I have used those for a paralyzed individual. But that only covers part A( great input though) part B as we know is a little more challenging.
(3)
Report
I am with Lea. Me, I did not take my Mom anywhere once she was incontinent. By that time she was placed in a NH, in late stage of Dementia.
Helpful Answer (5)
Reply to JoAnn29
Report

There is nowhere your bed bound(?) husband needs to travel. If you are his only care taker, then you don't ttavel, either.
Are you asking this in reference to upcoming holidays? You do not need to go.
Helpful Answer (5)
Reply to RedVanAnnie
Report

1. Try to avoid taking the incontinent male on short or long trips. You do not mention what illness is causing the incontinence. For the incontinent person ( male or female) it may be best to help them maintain their dignity and self respect by arranging for them to be cared for at home and, not travel. This may sound insensitive to their need to be " included" and, I assure you that it is not. Perhaps find very very short outings say to park or a one stop store/ place, doctor or other visit if you feel they must be taken out.
Of course the depends will need to be used and if male pt. someone male will need to be with you to go into make restroom to help change as needed( that is if the pt is ambulatory).

The more dignity and self respect can be maintained with minimal to no travel unless you hire a male caregiver or have make relative to assist and IF patient is able to be cooperative and compliant.

Practice good self care.....you are impt too...
Helpful Answer (5)
Reply to janicemeyer18
Report

In August, you posted, "Husband is mostly bed bound. Taking care of incontinence and stroke issues. Getting dependable care has not worked.
I hate having to care for him after many years of not being cared for or provided for by him."

How do you plan to take any types of trips with a husband in such a condition, I guess I don't understand? If there is an urgent need to travel, I'd hire a nurse to travel with you and to take care of him along the way, or hire medical transportation for him. Otherwise, you'd have way too much to deal with, trying to care for a mostly bed bound man with double incontinence issues, and such trips would become hellish for you, I would think. If you're on a plane, 2 people can't fit into the lavatory on board, so changing a brief would be impossible. If he were to have a BM on a plane, he'd have to sit in it for the length of the trip, and everyone on board would have to bear the odor emanating from his soiled brief. Not a great idea, unless you hire a nurse to deal with all of it.

If you're traveling in a car, you'd need to find a restroom to accompany him into. But again, if he has such mobility issues, it doesn't make sense to me how you'd be able to manage him alone w/o help of some kind. Nor why you'd want to take any trips at all with a doubly incontinent elder, unless there was an urgent need to do so. Then I'd look into hiring medical transportation or a nurse to go along with you.

Good luck.
Helpful Answer (4)
Reply to lealonnie1
Report
Justperforming Nov 26, 2022
Wanting to travel a 12 hr trip to our kids and grandkids. Would require an overnight stay. Plan is to stay there for 2 - 3 months. Family would help with care while there.
I was needing advice on how, if possible, to handle travel with him. I don't think it will work.
Thank you for your advice.
(2)
Report
If he’s that incontinent the only trip you should take him on is a one way trip to a nursing home.
Helpful Answer (4)
Reply to ZippyZee
Report

See All Answers
Ask a Question
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter