My mom is 76 and living with cancer. She is suffering emotional & mental abuse, as well as financial manipulation, via my siblings. One sibling goes into intensely abusive yelling episodes when she doesn’t say or do what he wants (one of which is alienating me and not having me help her) and then gaslights her and convinces her none of it happened and she is crazy. I’ve virtually given up my life to help her as I seem to be the only caring and uplifting source in her life.
I’m exhausted and between a rock and a hard place. I feel outer forces need involved because what is happening isn’t ok but she’s insistent neither of us do anything as he is her child. I don’t want to alienate her but also can’t watch this continue. I cared for her and my father previously- helping in every way she asked for and voiced she wanted- only to become a scapegoat the second I left to take a break. She is easily influenced- always has been. I’m only back in the picture because I love her regardless and I realized what has been happening.
Any advice on how to navigate this?
She is manipulating you and you are allowing it to happen.
Back away, let the "Golden Boy" take care of her.
You have done enough, let him take over. Set your boundaries and stick to them.
Loving your parents should bever mean giving up your life and livelihood. And yet that seems to be what your mom is demanding. So that nothing changes.
The only thing you have control over is your behavior. If you change what you're doing--withdraw your help, call her doctor and tell her/him what's going on, leave, yell back at your brother, the situation will change.
Who has POA?