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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
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It is such a hard situation - I agree your own life right now is in a state of crisis and it's okay to acknowledge that and put that first. If you think your parents really are at risk over there without you, then let whatever official people know so that the right actions can happen. I can relate in that the bind is either you be a "good daughter" and by doing so destroy yourself, or save yourself and feel like you are damned. At least that's my problem. I keep trying to remember that there probably are some choices in the middle between doing everything and doing nothing.
Forgot to address the falls, they don't sound particularly alarming to me - just about par for the course. Unless your mother is in a nursing home where she has supervision 24/7 the falls are going to happen sometimes and you can only pray she isn't harmed or without help for too long. Would she be willing to wear a Life Alert that automatically triggers with a fall? My mother falls often but refuses to consider any appropriate actions to protect herself from Lifealert to just using her walker when she should. Still she's "competent" so I can do very little other than give advice she ignores.
Bermuda, I called my dad earlier today told him I would check with the agency we hired as to why as my dad said they didn't show up. The agency said that when they called to tell them someone would be coming by he told them not to come. I believe the agency, they told me they had him on speaker phone. The head nurse with the agency is going to call them again to let them know there is someone to come over they are wanting to assist them. Then Marilyn head nurse will call me let me know what they said. I'm tired of dealing with them, my parents. My father called them liars, the stress is making me sick, my parents are very toxic. I've prayed about this how can anyone help them? If I when up there told them they are going to a nursing home one my father would have to be restrained he'd get so angry. I'd have to pack them up to move them while feeding them changing mothers diaper. Get a real estate agent have the house painted new carpet. There is nothing going to be easy about this, and that assisted living place won't take them there level of care is to extreme. If they go to a nursing home my dad will run up the cost of care because of his toxic behavior I've already been told that. There emotionally, physically, and spiritually in such a bad place the most humane thing would be God end their lives. It's horrible hearing them, seeing them go this far down, then when you try to help you lose your job, insurance, your life, your sanity, you sense of self all while being beat down verbally. They're on their own for now I have to take care of myself, or I can't take care of anything!
HUGS Zoolife, I really feel for you because I am long-distance as well and face similar issues. Is there any way you could force an evaluation of their living situation - like calling their Area Agency on Aging and explaining or even APS? It seems like an external authority needs to order them to move to that nice assisted living place you picked out. Of course they might fight that tooth and nail, or if they do tend to respect doctors or officials at all it might work. Maybe their doctors could be an ally in this too?
I was in Virginia now I'm home, my father has been keeping these things from me I've been home 2 weeks. They have assistance coming to the home through a nursing agency I like very much. I found out this morning that my father has been telling them not to come to their home. My mother is not to be left alone on her walker. The first fall lately last week she ended up in the hospital but was released without injury. My father when I called to check on them last night said she fell again but didn't hurt herself she said she did but did not go to the hospital as neighbors helped get her back up.
When I was caring for my folks both with dementia my employer within a weeks time fired me which added additional stress to my life and consequently I have serious medical issues that now I'm not being treated for due to lack of insurance. I'm getting all the legal paperwork to protect my parents rights and assess in place here in Texas.
I noticed when I was there mother doesn't eat well or seem to understand how to use utilizes to eat, I did feed her and cut her food for her. I noticed that she stares in a daze like state, none of her sentences make that much sense. After her fall a few days ago she was hallucinating believing there was a dog in the house. Dad said he got her straight on that, she hallucinated before not knowing where is was after a fall. There lives are a mess now so is mine! I'm suffering from serious depression diagnosed years ago now even worse. I can't imagine going back to care for them in my state to mind. My father is verbally violent abrasive difficult, my mother stubborn.
Before I drove 1230 miles to come back home I noticed my dad declined confused, my mother too, this comes and goes. I have know idea what stage of the disease they are in. My father hates my mothers doctor I found for her, and won't take her to the doctor or let the nursed aid drive my mother to see her doctor. I'm totally lost at this point, my future plans I don't know where I will end up. I own my home for now lived her 12 years, had a beautiful place 3 miles from where I live for my folks in assisted living set for them to move so none of this would happen. Totally emotionally drained
Can you tell us more about these falls? Was she injured, did she go to the hospital after them? What led to the falls? Falls alone do not necessarily mean she is nearer to death though a serious injury from a fall would be bad.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Forgot to address the falls, they don't sound particularly alarming to me - just about par for the course. Unless your mother is in a nursing home where she has supervision 24/7 the falls are going to happen sometimes and you can only pray she isn't harmed or without help for too long. Would she be willing to wear a Life Alert that automatically triggers with a fall? My mother falls often but refuses to consider any appropriate actions to protect herself from Lifealert to just using her walker when she should. Still she's "competent" so I can do very little other than give advice she ignores.
When I was caring for my folks both with dementia my employer within a weeks time fired me which added additional stress to my life and consequently I have serious medical issues that now I'm not being treated for due to lack of insurance. I'm getting all the legal paperwork to protect my parents rights and assess in place here in Texas.
I noticed when I was there mother doesn't eat well or seem to understand how to use utilizes to eat, I did feed her and cut her food for her. I noticed that she stares in a daze like state, none of her sentences make that much sense. After her fall a few days ago she was hallucinating believing there was a dog in the house. Dad said he got her straight on that, she hallucinated before not knowing where is was after a fall. There lives are a mess now so is mine! I'm suffering from serious depression diagnosed years ago now even worse. I can't imagine going back to care for them in my state to mind. My father is verbally violent abrasive difficult, my mother stubborn.
Before I drove 1230 miles to come back home I noticed my dad declined confused, my mother too, this comes and goes. I have know idea what stage of the disease they are in. My father hates my mothers doctor I found for her, and won't take her to the doctor or let the nursed aid drive my mother to see her doctor. I'm totally lost at this point, my future plans I don't know where I will end up. I own my home for now lived her 12 years, had a beautiful place 3 miles from where I live for my folks in assisted living set for them to move so none of this would happen. Totally emotionally drained