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I'm the closest child at almost 2 hours away. A recent pill audit showed my dad is taking meds less than half the time he is supposed to.


Is it worth having a service go to the house to make sure he takes his meds? He is in denial about his med taking abilities and doesn't want a daily pill box. We told him he needs to do something different. Now we need to figure out what the next steps are.

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We hired someone to give the meds..my mom would take two days worth to get it “done”.
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You will have to watch him take his meds or hire someone to watch him.
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Hello,
If your dad is at a point where he's not able to remember to take his meds there are probably other things that are being forgotten, perhaps like bill paying. This may be mild cognitive impairment that can occur with aging, which sometimes progresses.
As Alva said, he should been seen by a provider to assess this, since there are other things that can cause confusion, like thyroid issues or a UTI. There are meds that may be initiated to slow the progression of the memory loss if other things are ruled out.
He's not so much 'in denial' as being at a point where memory loss makes him think he is following his daily routines. (Anosognosia). Because he's not able to see his losses, and truly 'remembers' following his daily routines, your insisting that he's in the wrong or not doing something will agitate him. In these cases it really helps to just go along, no matter how much you want to try to reason with them. This is because for whatever cause, his ability to have insight about his forgetfulness isn't working.
It might be best to let the physician know ahead of time why you want follow up with your dad in a way that doesn't involve dad. Perhaps slip the office staff a note detailing what you've noticed at check in.
If this is MCI or the beginings of dementia initiating new routines or new tools without having a support system that reminds him will be an uphill battle. A home visit aide would help, as would Alva's suggestion of Alexa. Some people really like the Amazon 'Show' since you can video call in.
I'm putting this link here to a good resource for dementia and memory loss in case you'd like to read further. Hopefully this is something that is a simple fix or just age-related, but it does a good job of explaining how thought patterns are affected (scroll down on the page), and what to keep an eye out for.
https://www.smashwords.com/extreader/read/210580/2/understanding-the-dementia-experience/Medium,Arial,Black,White,One-and-a-Half

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u5QMeQpkPhA
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pqmqC-702Yg
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5nw3YUDQJuY
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=awBm4S9NwJ0
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I know a retired RN who has been doing pill containers for clients for many years. This may include dropping by to make sure that they take them. You could probably find such a person in mom’s neighborhood. This person could be presented as a friend, not a service.

There are containers that can be set up to vocally remind people to take their meds and perhaps even send a message to you that the pills have been taken. Check the internet. But someone still has to fill them.

However, it seems like what he needs is assisted living. He doesn’t get to call the shots anymore if the danger is that he won’t take his meds and could be dead on the floor until someone finds him.
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I have the same problem, but we are living together (it's my husband), so it's "easier" for me to make sure he takes his meds. I use weekly pill cases that I fill for several weeks and each day put his meds in a daily "am/pm" container so it's easy for me to see if he took them. He also has meds to take after breakfast and I give him those in person each day. In your case, try to develop a checklist with each day of the week (perhaps several weeks' worth) and list the meds and the time for each. Have him check it off when he takes it and you can monitor that when you visit. If he is simply forgetting to take his meds, this might work. If he is refusing, then you have another problem.
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We often come to this question on Forum, and the sad truth is that many elders who enter into ALF go for either mobility issues or the inability to remember to take medications.

I would first discuss with Dad and MD what medications he is on, and the reason he needs them. At a certain age there may be a decision made to forgo further medications with good followup; and some studies suggest that we take now too MANY meds, not too few.
At some age, this being the ONLY concern, there may be an informed choice/agreement to forgo most medications. That is taking an informed risk in some cases. If you listen to medication ads on TV that play lovely music while people toss a ball on the beach, all the while a voice-over tells you the ways people have died BECAUSE of this med, it is informing.

Nextly there may need to be an neuro assessment now or soon. This choice of your Dad's is out of the norm. Most of us understand, when we are becoming forgetful, that it is important to take our medication, that there are ways we can be helped to remember--the proverbial pill box set out by the coffeemaker, and etc. If there is a conscious choice NOT to do this, why? Something has been "afoot" here, right? Otherwise why the pill audit. I am 80. But my daughter doesn't do pill audits on me.

I sure wish you good luck. Not everything can be fixed and if you try all suggestions you find here and nothing works, then there are tougher decisions coming from around the corner soon.

I sure wish you luck and hope you will tell us something works. Even ALEXA was suggested here recently. For those techie seniors out there she will give you a reminder in quite the gentle voice.
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