How do you tell someone they cannot go home anymore?

It is the doctor who should tell her about an unsafe discharge if she has no dementia. She is greatly suffering. Has anyone from hospice spoken to her yet?

Your profile also mentions a father. You and your sister are taking care of both of them? What kind of caregiving were you doing before she fell?

You are the oldest of 4...just as 2 of your other siblings aren't sacrificing their lives to elder caregiving, neither do you and your sister have to do so.

Who's going to take her home if she gets discharged from "TCU" (and what does that stand for?) this week?

Better talk to that SW very soon. And don't believe him/her if they tell you that taking her home would only be temporary, and that they will find you help. They will not do. Once she's out of TCU, she is no longer their responsibility. Don't make her yours!

Your profile indicates that mom is a narcissistic. She "wants what she wants."

Unfortunately, the rehab CAN refuse to discharge her to a place with no support. And you and your sister can rightly refuse to indenture yourselves to her.

Talk to the SW at the rehab and let them deal with mom's histrionics.

I also agree that you should talk to a social worker, that your Mom is an unsafe discharge. Her screaming and crying doesn't sound like someone with a sound mind, which BTW should be an objective assessment made by someone other than herself -- like a doctor who administers a cognitive and memory test. Also, she needs to be able to do ADLs (Activities for Daily Living) in order to live on her own even partially.

You can put the blame on the medical communiity, that they won't allow her to be by herself in her current condition. Stop bringing up the topic. Change the topic or walk out of the room since you won't be changing her mind through reason and logic. If she isn't able to or refuses to assign a PoA then the social workers can begin the process of guardianship by county, unless your family wishes to take this on. There is a solution but it will most likely be the "least bad option". That's often how it goes when it comes to elder care issues. I'm so sorry you're in this stressful situation.

I told my Daddy that the nursing facility was a hospital for getting better, once the doctor signs the forms for you to go home then you can go home. As my Daddy worsened he couldn't remember that he was in a facility. He was happy with the tv and the food was good. I visited him daily and the subject never came up again.

Speak with the social worker at the rehab and let this person know that mom has no help at home and it will be an unsafe environment for her to be on her own. Discussing this more with your mom will be fruitless, she will only want what she cannot have, which is your undivided attention and care.