I've been the sole caregiver to my mom for the last 10 months, who has rapid onset of Alzheimer’s, Vascular and Lewy Body Dementia with behavioral disturbances and is completely incontinent and bed bound. She requires me to do everything for her. She does not even try to fix a pillow herself to be comfortable. She doesn't help at all when I have to turn her to change her and she is 220 pounds. If she doesn't get what she wants when she wants it, I suffer from constant non stop verbal abuse and not stop calling me. My 11 yr old son can't handle it anymore. I can't handle it. I need a break from all this madness and overwhelming amount of work. I am applying her for Medicaid this week but it will take 3-6 months I am told. In the meantime I am trying to find a place for respite care to get a break and the cheapest I've found is $5,560! How does anyone afford this?! Does anyone know anywhere that is cheaper. I am in Virginia Beach, VA. I just desperately need a break. I'm emotionally and physically exhausted.
Take her to a different hospital next time, so you will be dealing with a different social worker.
You have got to get out of this hellish situation. It is not fair to you, your H, and your 11-year-old son!
Yes, Medicaid approval can take months, but she doesn't have to live with you during that time. Refuse to take her home from the hospital. Can you do that?
Respite care is very expensive too.
You’re in a bind! Nevertheless, start looking at nursing homes now. Explain her situation to them. See what they tell you. Ask to speak to the social worker.
I am so very sorry that you are living in this nightmare. I hope it will end soon.
I spoke with hospice today and I think there will be some relief in site! Plus they should be closing on her house Nov 30 and the lawyer said he will file for Medicaid once it’s closed on.
I can’t get her in my room. One my husband would be very upset with that and two cant get the hospital bed in with the walls and door set up. I spoke with hospice today and I’m hopefully they are going to help me. We do go in our room and close the door lol you ask her to stop, yell at her to stop and then get pissed and tell her to be quiet and no matter how you approach it she just keeps going so going in my room and shutting the door is the only way to get away from her and that. She is on meds and I find it incredible they do not knock her out. I think she needs elephant tranquilizers lol
thanks!
One of the "benefits" of Hospice is that Medicare will pay for almost 1 week of respite each year. In addition to that Hospice has Volunteers that will come sit with your mom.. They can not do "hands on" care so you might be limited to 3 or 4 hours each week.
You can check your local Senior Center they may have Volunteers that could come sit with mom for a while so you can get out. There may be other programs that she may be eligible for that would also provide weekly service of a caregiver.
So sorry, I am not looking forward to the day that I will have to have this convo with myself. So far, my workload with my mom is low but the writing is on the wall as her physical and mental well being continue to decline.
thank you for replying
I guess Mom has no money? Good way to spend it down. The only way I have heard to get respite care free is thru Hospice. And Mom probably doesn't qualify for that.