It is a very long story but my dad finally moved to a facility. I must admit that although it has been a very rough, long road, I have felt sadness at times. He seems to be satisfied and it is definitely the best thing for him because he has severe physical limitations but this feels very different. I guess I'm not used to having time to do for myself finally. He has been there a week and all I have done is sit around. I know this is due to me being completely burned out.
I was in a job that was stressful and with toxic coworkers for several years. It ate me alive. When it ended, I spent two whole weeks in my house, napping and crying out the stress. After that, I was able to function normally again. Just had to let the stress out.
Caregiving is a stressful job that goes 24/7. So you are ten times more burnt than I was! So my advice is to give yourself permission to do jack squat for as long as you need.
I finally did a few things in the house today and it felt strange! My work had piled up. A lot of it was my dad's mail. But I went through it and put it away. The pile is now gone. I also took some time to watch tv as well! Thank you!
I am not sure I will ever get my mojo back but I have it here somewhere.
I have found talk therapy very helpful. I don’t have the best therapist. I think I know as much about her issues as she does mine but it has really helped. We just chat on the phone and somehow it helps. The important thing is to get started after a bit. Big hugs to you and thanks for letting us know.
I feel only feel an immense feeling of relief that my 95 yo parents are now in a NH and I am not living crisis to crisis anymore.
I am glad to be a daughter and not a caregiver anymore. Hope you find peace and happiness now that you are no longer carrying this heavy burden.
You will get used to it in time.
It is surely a feeling of relief because now he has the 24/7 medical care and etc that he deserves and needs. Thank you!
Your words are so true! It is hard to get out of caregiver mode. I have plenty to do here at home that I have not had time to do. Thank you for the great advice!
Take a 30 minute walk in the morning.
Do that for a week. Take Sundays off and just relax.
The next week, take your 30 minute walk every day, and spend 15 minutes cleaning out a closet or spot that needs decluttering each day.
The next week, add another 15 minutes.
You have been through a war. Give yourself time to heal. You’ve got a lot of recovering to do! 😀
Sort of reminds me when you send your youngest to school .
Not exactly .
It takes time to get out of caregiver mode . It’s like a soldier coming back to live civilian life .
You will change gears . Plan some fun things , a massage , a long weekend trip , meet a friend for lunch , a hobby .
On a daily basis try to remember what your days were like before . Make a routine again which includes a nice walk or exercise . Maybe alittle flower gardening , enjoy the nice weather .
Schedule in tea time , reading a book time etc . Purge closets , replace worn out things . Paint a room a new color , or decorate a room for the summer , bright pillows , some flowers , new curtains.
Give the car and home a spring cleaning .
Try new recipes , bake .
I felt lost too . Luckily your father seems satisfied . If he complains , remember that it is for the best . You have to live your life. You did not make him old .