Well... I was considering having children until I started caring for my father because I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy. I was a "late baby" (my brother who committed suicide was even younger... 10 years), so my father was 47 when I was born. I'm absolutely TERRIFIED to reproduce at the age of 38 now for the fear that I will get sick and have kids that resent caring for me.
Then I think I wouldn't be a good mother because I get so frustrated with my father when he doesn't sleep (babies keep you up at night as well), or I snap at him for ...whatever.
Finally, I think about putting a contingency plan together for aging. The short time I had Dad at the Independent Living (IL) facility, I would listen to the elderly parents that put THEMSELVES in the facility so their children could enjoy their freedom--so they wouldn't be a burden to their children. I admit I was a bit jealous. Why can't my Dad do that?
Then I have "angry compassion_ so to speak. Isn't it interesting that if an animal gets to the point where they can't function, they're put down, yet humans can literally suffer for YEARS (patient and caregiver) existing as a fraction of the person they once were.
I get it... it must be horrible to exist without being unable to hear well, see well, move around, remember anything, and be in pain most of the time, but should the caregivers suffer?
NOTE: I'm not advocating euthanizing humans... just making an observation.
...and to top it off, I want to SCREAM the truth at by standers that "commend" me for taking care of Dad. There's nothing commendable about it. I detest it most of the time and feel guilty for feeling that way every day.
....random venting I guess
Maybe a little exaggeration..........
I doubt that Trump will make it to the primaries and nominating conventions. I can't see the older more mature and rational people in the Republican Party choosing him as its standard bearer, but that doesn't mean he isn't going to stir up a lot of hate mongerers while he's out stumping and trying to keep his hair out of his eyes.
Maybe his businesses are failing and he just needs some publicity. If so, he should at least get a well fitted wig.
There are so many logical ways the Government could increase income for the elderly, plus implement programs that would allow for free in home help and/or provide more good professional NH's.
I've heard it said and read it many times that AD/Dementia and related diseases is becoming a Worldwide epidemic as well as the caregivers who have to care for their parents.
Just how would one start lobbying for better care of our elderly?
FF, I think Christie is sophisticated enough to know how to play to the voters. Remember when he cozied up to Obama after Hurricane Sandy? I think he knows where his bread is buttered.
Back to the caregiving issues.... I don't even want to think about growing old anymore.
"This Week with George Stephanopoulos", George kept telling Mr. Trump that he wasn't answering the question, Trump would say something, and George once again would say he's not answering the question.
Got to admit, it's been a very entertaining political race so far :)
One has to remember, The Donald said he won't listen to any lobby groups. Oops. It's us seniors who are the largest demographic to come out to vote in national elections. Some 61% of citizens age 65 and older voted in the November 2010 election, the best turnout of any age group.
They are up close and personal with Medicare and Social Security, or soon will be.
Seniors in high places, right faces, and in the money! They have no worries. Their money can buy them care, not happiness, but care.
I think you would start lobbying by contacting your state and federal congresspeople and senators, and continuing to do it. Another way is to lobby as part of an organization, such as AARP. However, I believe AARP sets its own agency and has its own lobbyists.
During my political activist days I joined grassroots organizations, went to DC for meetings, participated in a few nonviolent protests and rallies, and got involved heavily at a local level, even making one fundraising speech, and once I even ran for a low level political position.
Still, individual voters can't lose by sharing their individual opinions.
Sometime ago GladI'mHere posted information on a lobbying group. I wasn't able to locate that information immediately; perhaps she'll stop by and respond.
I personally think grassroots organizations are great ways to get started; not only does it bring people of similar minds together but it builds confidence as ideas are shared and plans are developed and implemented.
The issue for caregivers I think though would be the time. Many of us just don't have much spare time.
I admire you and applaud you.
I went down the slippery slope of allowing my mother to be a guest in my home for the last 1.5 years. I did NOT know she had dementia when she came here. But she does and horribly so. Needs care and watching 24/7.
I am proud of you for setting up boundaries and knowing that doing more could possibly suck the life out of you - which has happened to me.
I'm glad you posted as you give support for others in your situation for not letting this caregiving thing get to the point that I have letting it take away my life.
Hugs and praise to you--
My youngest son was born when I was 39, and my husband was 55. He developed lymphoma at 69, did three rounds of chemo over ten years and the last one failed. But--my older kids were 40, 38, & 36, and the youngest 24. They, and their spouses, were helped me cope and were great, and fortunately, there was no dementia involved. At this point, I'm in pretty good shape, refuse to take prescription meds (keep my blood sugar and pressure OK with diet and supplements. Frankly, I got off of the meds because of the side effects.) I intend to keep busy as long as I can. Sold my house last year, so that's taken care of. My kids have taken over some of my business affairs, and I pray for good mental and physical health (pretty typical of most of my family).
Plus, I'm 7 and 11yrs older so I may be too old anyway. :)
For example, if I come home to die, I want hospice! More for them to have access to support and information, than for me. And if I'm home on hospice and I start threatening to hit my kids because they are trying to get me into clean clothes? Then I want them to be comfortable with the decision to move me to a home. If I am scaring them, I don't want them to have to weigh the guilt against the threat in case I ever do throw a punch. I wouldn't want them to remember me that way.
Anyway, I give thought to those sorts of things. And especially, about planning for the expenses. We always think we have more time. And then one day, we just don't anymore. They may need to manage paperwork, but I'm going to work very hard in the years to come to make sure they have paper to manage!
Mom started declining in her mid-60s. Really started going down the chute at 70. Neurological disorders don't care what year you were born. They just attack until there's nothing left.
You'll never hear me fetishizing living to be 80, 90 or 100. Even if I'm healthy, I'll be out of money.
And just for the record: I'm not a miserable crank! I enjoy life. What I don't enjoy is soft-headed crazy talk.