My mom is 91 has fairly advanced dementia and has been in assisted care units for years. She stopped eating 8 days ago. She has diabetes and has now show kidney failure.
Did they say what stage of kidney failure? People can live two or three weeks without eating if they are getting fluids. However, if she is in end-stage kidney failure, she will pass more quickly. I am sorry. We can't really predict the timing of death with any accuracy. Each person chooses their own time. If your mother stopped eating, she has probably chosen to cross to the other side. It is a good thing for her, but hard for the family to go through. Big hugs as you are going through it. I hope she passes peacefully.
My Mom passed a week and a half ago from this ugly disease. She barely ate for five months but continued to drink Sprite. Mom went a month without a bite of food. Once her kidneys shut down, she passed 8 days later. Mom's weight dropped from 112 in Nov to in the 60's Aug 10th when she left this earth to join my Daddy in Heaven. She sleep a lot the last two months of her life. Mom would speak and interact for short periods of time up until the day before she passed. God bless your Mom, you and your family now, and in the days ahead.
As far as wondering if one near death is suffering if they are not speaking... the hospice nurse on the night of my mom's death gave me helpful insight. Mom was indeed struggling to breathe due to fluid in lungs. Very distressing to see. However, the nurse told us to look at her features. Her face was relaxed and smooth, there was no visible tension. She told us the breathing is reflexive. The heart was strongly doing what it was supposed to do, the lungs were also doing the job it was supposed to do, but mom was actively dying and unaware of her reflexes here. This was end-stage and it really did help me to identify her relaxed look apart from what I was seeing in her attempts to breathe. This may not be what you were asking, but I was comforted then and since. I learned much from hospice nurses. The attempt to feed or give liquid near death is not what is needed AND it is a more comfortable passing without the introduction of more for the body to handle. It is so contrary to what we think we need to do for our loved one, but having gone through it, I do know that now. We all want to do exactly what is right and I appreciate the knowledge of those who guide us in hospice. I pray your time and mom's final time is full of peace.
My father got to where he could no longer swallow. That led to pneumonia. It was the end. We had to accept that. Hardest thing I have ever done. We did hospice for a few days. He told me he loves me. I dont miss the way he was. I miss my dad from 20 years ago. He always showed me some love.
Caring-- I am sorry for what you're going through. The body can sustain itself for several weeks on fluids alone, hence why many people who choose DNR ask for no liquids other than by mouth. It does hasten death, to keep someone so ill on IV's but if that is her choice, so be it.
Don't even try to wrap your brain around a kidney transplant for someone so elderly and in such poor shape. It simply wouldn't be done, even with a willing donor. Your mom could not handle what that entails.
Can mom stay in her current facility while on IV ? answer "yes".
Thanks to all of you for your helpful replies.
It is very hard to determine if she is suffering or not as she is not speaking.
Must be so difficult
God bless
Hope you can rest In the coming days
FYI.
Mama is doing better am thinking she suffered a TAI stroke but no one really knows. However, she is eating by spoon feeding.
I am sorry for what you're going through. The body can sustain itself for several weeks on fluids alone, hence why many people who choose DNR ask for no liquids other than by mouth. It does hasten death, to keep someone so ill on IV's but if that is her choice, so be it.
Don't even try to wrap your brain around a kidney transplant for someone so elderly and in such poor shape. It simply wouldn't be done, even with a willing donor. Your mom could not handle what that entails.
I wish you strength through this trial.
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