How much care should I expect from a nursing home? Mother's basic needs are met but should she go hours without anyone checking on her?

Your profile states that mom is in assisted living. Or is she in a nursing home or memory care? Who has told you that she is only checked on for meds and meals? If mom, with her dementia, she may not be telling you what is actually happening because she doesn't remember.

How long has your mom been in this NH? Is she new and you haven’t had a care plan meeting yet? Is your mom confined to her bed? Why are meals brought in, instead of being brought into the dining room? Does she get assistance getting to the toilet or is she completely incontinent? If so how often are they changing her? What is on her care plan? Is she a fall risk and if so how often are they supposed to do a bed check on her? The aides don’t have time to “sit” with someone, but there are many ways and opportunities for them to have eyes on her during the course of the day. You need to speak with her floor RN to make sure they are watching out for her, knowing she can’t use the call bell for help.

What section is she in, LTC or MC? My MIL is in LTC (Medicaid room so she has a roommate). They check on her fairly often, get her out of bed for meals and sometimes even an activity here and there. Is your mom bed bound? If not then maybe you can ask the staff to get her out of bed for meals? This helped my MIL a lot. Blessings!