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Its finally hit home this week that mom is about to die. Having a hard time dealing with it. She took a turn for the worse a few days ago, we are not having to give her meds crushed up in apple sauce, which is the only thing she eats all day are those two small helpings with her meds. She does take sips of water because she is so dehydrated. She's incontinent now and its a fight trying to get on the depends. Oxygen level is getting lower, bp fluctuates. It's killing me watching her decline so quickly even though I knew it was coming. Wondering how much longer she may have?

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My heart goes out to you. I am also experiencing the same exact thing. Mom was doing good, caught the crud and ended up in the hospital with pneumonia for 10 days .Her doctor and the rest of the hospital never thought she would make it out of the hospital, but she improved and came home. She was weak and didn't eat much, but seemed to be improving. Then she started sleeping more and more. I have been getting very little in her. She is happy if she gets a cup of coffee and an Ensure. She is also becoming more and more incontinent. She doesn't want food and can hardly keep her eyes open. My husband works away from home and I had already decided when he got home, we would take her to the ER for a recharge, or fluids. I will do everything in my power to keep her comfortable and this is just about more than I can take, but I know that I have done the best I can do and I don't regret a minute of it. My prayers go out to you during this sad time, because I can truly say I know what you are experiencing. Bless you for taking such good care of her. Any extra prayers that any of you may have, I would greatly appreciate them.
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Dear Bemomiller, I'm so sorry to hear this. Have you described to the doctor this recent development? He may be able to give you a better idea of how much longer she will have. Without knowing more of her history, I would say she might need to go to the hospital for IV fluid re-hydration, and she might rally again for awhile. As for the Depends, perhaps an adult diaper would work better as you can just roll her back and forth to get her into it instead of struggling to pull something up over her legs. Only other alternative is no diaper at all, and just use the disposable bed liners, perhaps triple layered, which would be large enough to serve as the inital wipe using the dry sections. Since the bottom of the liners are plastic, you could use wet wipes while she is on the second layer, and then the third layer is the new clean and dry liner. Forgive me if these are not practical suggestions - I've never actually been through this level of personal care - just trying to think creatively. The important thing is to avoid the struggle and let her be as comfortable as possible. Also, short nightgowns as opposed to PJ's make changing easier (but most likely you are already doing that). My prayers are with you, and if it is your Mom's time, that she will have a peaceful passing.
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Thanks, She is in hospice already, her home nurse has been wonderful, and yes they tell me the same thing. Its just so difficult waiting and watching.
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I think that it would be very helpful for you to have hospice care for your mother. A hospice nurse may be able to answer your question about how much longer, based on experience, but really, no one knows for sure. Just take one hour at a time.

I am very sorry for this difficult time you are in.
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