Mom is around mid stage Alzheimers. I have learned so much in dealing with AD and her but now I am up against still another. Recently I had to go out of town with my daughter getting ready for college and my husband and a hired caregiver came in and took care of mom while I was gone. She was well cared for but she was obviously stressed out that I was gone. I notice that when I am even gone for a couple of hours from the house she tends to get stressed. it's like she doesn't like it when I am gone as she is depending so much on me now. I am about to have to take a 4 day trip with another daughter of mine and I am beginning to wonder if I should not even tell her that I am leaving and just pretend that I am around town. Of course my husband and a caregiver will be here with her but tell her I am around just out of the house a lot with my daughter. Would that cut down on her stress level or create more when she doesnt see me? The only reason she knew I was gone last time I had marked it on her calendar and left her a note explaining who was there with here to help her and that she could still call me anytime on my cell. She has a cell phone and she will use it.
You appear to be her 'life line'. She feels secure and safe with you. My mom did the same. After 7 or 8 months alone, I encountered a gal that would relieve me 2 days (or 3) per week for 6hrs a stretch. Sometimes my mom would sit and just watch the front door for my return. Dementia and 'sundowner's" exploit Bi-polar moods in the sense that they can change on a dime. She displayed this w this gal and it just took time. Once mom became comfortable - and this gal would do her nails, read to her, watch TV with her, get her ready and put her to bed - etc. -- she didn't feel abandoned by me so much.
Also, I personally felt the later stages of dementia make it easier mood wise. Now they are even more child like - and you can only read them by the different moods they display, such as crying, anger, worry, fear - etc. since their speech becomes so impaired it is no longer audible. Once you 'think' you've got them wired, they move to a different stage of dementia.
The biggest change I saw in myself was that I learned to adore her and humor replaced anger. Follow your instincts.
My mom would look for my purse. If it was gone, and I didn't say I was leaving she was pissed! Later on it didn't matter because I started a new 'pattern'. 4 days is long. You might set up a time 2 or 3 times a day to touch base with her and tell her what's going on. Make it the same time each day so there 'is' a pattern. Remember you can control her moods - make her laugh - keep it short, tell her you miss her bla bla- bla - and don't feel guilty. Also know that you will always be her umbilical cord.