Ask yourself how much time off do you get from your job? Start there.
A day off is 24 hours. A live-in aide should work a 5-day work week like most people do with week-ends off. The aide also gets to leave the client's home on her days (and nights) off.
The determining of 'break time' is ridiculous. That cannot be factored when a person lives at their job. The live-in aide cannot be expected to be by your loved one's side 23 hours a day and can have two half-hour breaks in that period. So let's be realistic.
I did live-in work. I was never the only aide on the job. There should always be more than one. Either someone works weekdays with weekends off, or how my job was. There was two of us and we split the week. This the best way to do it. The client's home is no one's actual residence because that can cause a whole other set of problems.
What I did as a live-in was at a certain hour the client was put to bed. That's when my day was over. I got up once a night to toilet her and that was it. I didn't sit with her all night or bring in snacks and drinks and come running in every time she made a sound. My job after hours was to take her to the bathroom once and just be in the house. Her bedroom door had a latch-lock on it and there were grates on the windows (1st floor) so she couldn't wander. This is pretty much what a live-in does in the overnight hours. Other than toileting, changing a diaper, or occasionally giving a medication at a certain hour if necessary.
Your story about being left with a client over Thanksgiving resonated with me. When hubby came home from the hospital I hired a local caretaker company (family owned and operated -- I think that should have worried me, because they didn't have back up people). The woman who supervised the workers and also worked many shifts herself was kind of a domineering person, to say the least. But she was very careful and had lots of rules. They lost one of their workers (wife seriously injured) and to be a good guy, I said I would work shifts (12 hours) on occasion so that they wouldn't get too tired. The final one was a "12 hour" shift to relieve the supervisor. No one came after 12 hours. I called them and texted them...no response. Next 12 hours: no one came. Finally the domineering woman showed up after I had worked with only a couple of hours' sleep for 36 hours! When she got there my husband and I very politely asked if we could switch to only nighttime help because hubby was OK during the day and we were going broke (they charged about $120,000 a year). I was so tired I thought I might fall on my face in the street as I walked half a block home. I fell into bed and after 6 hours' sleep I got a call from the supervisor saying they were quitting, leaving immediately (7 in the morning) and it was MY FAULT because I "have strange ideas." Possibly the request, made nicely and in good faith for good reasons, to switch to only night care, was unacceptable to her. No explanation what those were. I had to rush back and immediately start trying to get another caretaker. This time I got a nationally-known one, very well run, whose workers were dependable, were willing to work only at night, and I was finally able to get some sleep.
But what made me think of your letter, Burnt, is that the idea that caretaker is just a happy little job is stupid. It is draining and unpleasant. Thinking that a caretaker should be happy with a meal is nuts. And a 12-hour shift is LONG. Any time after that the caretaker is very likely to start making mistakes or not noticing things. In my case the hired caretakers (company making tons of money, workers paid something like $15 an hour) seemed to think that I, the paying client, should be happy to have no sleep for 36 hours. I nearly went to the hospital after that. I think they were trying to start and run a business with too few workers, which I completely understand -- there is a caretaker shortage everywhere.
In any case, NO ONE -- paid caretakers nor primary ones -- can be expected to work more than a 12-hour shift. And a day off means 24 hours. (The better company I got gave each worker 3 paid days off a week). Burnt makes the point that many caretakers die BEFORE the PWD. Believe me, I got very close to the edge because I didn't really know the rules and what to expect. The first night I had good help I slept for nearly 30 hours.
Hubby just went to a nice assisted-living place here. Food is wonderful, staff is kind, other residents friendly, lots of services. I'm starting to realize now how seriously I was damaging my health. Hubby feels fine. I feel like I'm 105. (I'm 73.)
My constant hugs and wishes for all of you who are losing your health and even possibly lives in the situation we are all in.
I am going to answer this question with one little change. Rather than saying how much time off, I will say how much time away. I have found that anything longer than a 12-hour shift with someone with advanced dementia is difficult. The caregiver needs that time away from the patient to “recharge” mentally not necessarily to rest physically. While the work can be physically challenging, the mental aspect for me is the most demanding.
You need to check the labor laws in your state. Live-ins usually work the 40 hr week. Any OT is time and a half. Employer must provide a aide (or do the caring themselves) when live-in has time off. Room and board is part of the employment contract.
Live-in caregivers do not get time-and-a-half pay even when they are agency hired. They may get that if they work a holiday but it's usually limited to eight hours because that's considered a legal work day. This is the only time a live-in caregiver gets time-and-a-half pay.
They are considered EMPLOYEES. There are specific rules and regulations so check the law(s).
If they do not get what they are legally entitled to, they could sue you.
Google / research although, In part:
24 Hour Caregiver Salary in California
As of January 2023, most 24-hour caregivers in California must be paid a minimum wage of $488.25 per day. The caregiver’s first 8 hours worked must be paid a minimum wage of $15.50, but higher in many cities in California. Then, California law requires overtime payments of $23.25 per hour for the remaining 15 hours. A California caregiver working in cities with higher minimum wage laws must be paid at the applicable minimum wage. A 24-hour caregiver in California who is earning less than $488.25 per day can hire a caregiver lawyer to sue the employer.
Do caregivers get paid for sleeping?
Yes, a California caregiver must get paid for sleeping when required to remain on the premises. A caregiver must be paid even if they are surfing the internet, watching TV, socializing on the phone, and sleeping when the caregiver is on standby or under the control of their employer. If a caregiver in California is not allowed to leave at night, the caregiver must be paid for all overnight hours. An employer of an in-home caregiver must not deduct sleep time from hours worked. If an employer deducts money for sleep time, the caregiver in California can hire a lawyer and may sue for over $100,000.
There are many rules for hiring a caregiver. You might want to go through an agency although it is very expensive - although no workers' compensation fees / liability to you.
Yes, a caregiver gets paid for their time no matter what they are doing. If they are on the clock, they are getting paid. They get paid salary though. Not hourly. So sleep time doesn't matter.
There are different employment rules for live-ins. The same as there are different labor rules for people who work as restaurant waitstaff or hairdressers. There is no labor requirement that these workers even be paid minimum wage hourly because they get tips. Whether an argument can be made for this being right or wrong, is not the point.
Live-in caregivers do not get paid hourly. They are on salary. Every hour they are being paid does not have to meet an hourly wage requirement. Live-ins also do not get overtime pay either. You put in your scheduled time and that's it. We did get time-and-a-half for holidays though, but only eight hours because that is considered full work day hours. I know this because I worked a live-in position with another caregiver in the state of California. We split the week. Everything was on the up and up.
Most caregivers through an agency have to sign a disclosure agreement that they will not sue the agency if they are injured or have a problem the job. They can sue the client. People hiring privately can also make this kind of contract with the caregivers they hire too.
I ask this kind of question because I see through the eyes of a person who was a hired caregiver for many years.
Experience has taught me that more people than not treat this kind of work like it's somehow easier than other jobs. That for us the wiping and diapering of their loved ones' a$$es while spending hour after hour in their often filthy and hoarded homes listening to them repeat the same nonsense over and over again is "reward" enough so pay us as little as possible and we never even dream of wanting time off. Believe it or not, I've had clients and client families who actually resented having to pay anything. They wanted an arrangement where they would provide me with lunch in exchange for babysitting their elder every afternoon, five days a week. Of course, I laughed at such an offer, but there are people out there who think that's all this kind of work is worth.
I've worked for families who believed that I should be by their LO's side 24/7. That I should take their elder with me for holidays and that I should be available any time of the day or night because it's so rewarding. I remember one family in particular. My elderly client lived with her family who loved her so much and all they wanted was the reward of being her caregiver.
They hatched a plan one Thanksgiving. They didn't want to take her to their family holiday a few hours drive away in another state. They wanted the holiday without her which was completely understandable. They should have made other care arrangements.
So when my shift was over on Wednesday, no one came home. The husband, wife, and grown kids had planned it this way. They left directly from work and school to their Thanksgiving holiday plans and did not come home. They figured that I'd just stay with her for the holiday or take her with me because the work is just so rewarding that I wouldn't mind at all.
I called the daughter and SIL's jobs. I called the family where they were going to for Thanksgiving and I got nowhere. I waited a few hours and called the police and told them to bring a social worker because a vulnerable elder with dementia had been abandoned by her family and I cannot reach them. I left her with the police.
The family was fuming mad and didn't understand why I couldn't just "keep" her and let them have one holiday. They ended up getting in some trouble because the cops and the state were none too pleased by that little stunt of theirs.
I see things from the caregiver's perspective. No one should have to ask how much time off they should get. They should get the same amount as the person asking.
Don live there make the family more responsible after all the mom or dad raised them so now it’s time to give back I go to my mother-in-law’s every day 7days a week because I want to I don’t get paid I don’t want pay my husband goes when not working when the time comes one of us will start spending the night and I do believe we are entitled thru Medicare to get a nurse to come on I’m new to this only been doing it for 2yrs now it’s stressful but gotta do what we gotta do
If you've been at it for two years and haven't seen a nurse coming yet, they're probably not coming any time soon. Even if they do, it's not going to be what you may think it is.
Do you know how a visiting homecare nurse program works? They come in for about ten minutes once a week. Usually most of that ten minutes is spent documenting on their computer. This is about what you're going to get from a nurse coming in. I was an in-home caregiver for 25 years and have been on more cases with nursing coming in than I can even count. I have never had a different experience with visiting nurse staff then I just told you about.
Medicare will pay for a CNA (Certified Nursing Assistant) also known as a 'caregiver' a few hours a week. They will help your MIL shower or wash up. This is what Medicare pays for. They don't pay for a caregiver to stay for hours on end or to stay all night and babysit someone.
I'm going to give you a good bit of advice here and I hope you take it to mind.
Is your mother-in-law well off enough financially that she can independently pay for 24-hour caregivers?
If she's not, then you should get her on a few waiting lists for LTC facilities. You should do this now. Get her on a few lists for placement because everyone needs to have a Plan B. Drop the whole "gotta do what we gotta do" attitude. This kind of nonsense can be dangerous and wreck your life.
Like I said I did this work for 25 years. I have seen firsthand once happy marriages and families consumed by the bottomless pit of an elder's needs and demands. I have seen it rob kids of their childhoods and turn them into angry young people who resent the parents and grandparents they once loved.
Do you know that something like 40% or 50% of caregivers die before the person they are taking care of?
So, you be careful with the "gotta do what we gotta do" approach if you have a spouse and children.
Please request a case manager usually a licensed social worker to be assigned to your family via the patient 's PCP ( Physician). The Licensed Social Worker should be able to best help you navigate the very complex systems and choices available to your family member and you. Do not try to do this alone. Please confer starting with the family members physician for a correct " level of care needs assessment" and referral to a case manager for you . You may also benefit from consulting an " elder care attorney" to learn all of the accountability, requirements etc etc. associated with caring for the aging for both your well being and the patient.
I am a single 71 year old retired woman, caring for my Mother who is 97 years old. She moved into my home over 3 years ago after she fell and spent 1 week in hospital, so I provide 24 hour care for her. I go to the store but come right back, I also try to go for a bike ride once a week, take care of my home, inside and out. I also go see my grandchildren play sports once a week, and play golf with my senior retired lady friends once a week. I manage her prescriptions, supplements and doctors appointments because she is not able to think clearly. She wears hearing aides, and can still change and shower herself. I cook and clean for her daily. She is very old fashioned and just sits, eats, does word seek games and watches TV. I cannot get her to help herself by going outside or to go for a short walk. She seems to be forgetting and confusing everything lately. And is so nasty and gets upset all the time because she cannot remember things and speaks what she is thinking even when it is not what the TV or we are talking about. She can be very mean to me. It is still takes a toll on me and I miss adult conversation. There is no one else to help me. Any suggestions.
A day off is 24 hours. A live-in aide should work a 5-day work week like most people do with week-ends off. The aide also gets to leave the client's home on her days (and nights) off.
The determining of 'break time' is ridiculous. That cannot be factored when a person lives at their job. The live-in aide cannot be expected to be by your loved one's side 23 hours a day and can have two half-hour breaks in that period. So let's be realistic.
I did live-in work. I was never the only aide on the job. There should always be more than one. Either someone works weekdays with weekends off, or how my job was. There was two of us and we split the week. This the best way to do it. The client's home is no one's actual residence because that can cause a whole other set of problems.
What I did as a live-in was at a certain hour the client was put to bed. That's when my day was over. I got up once a night to toilet her and that was it. I didn't sit with her all night or bring in snacks and drinks and come running in every time she made a sound.
My job after hours was to take her to the bathroom once and just be in the house. Her bedroom door had a latch-lock on it and there were grates on the windows (1st floor) so she couldn't wander.
This is pretty much what a live-in does in the overnight hours. Other than toileting, changing a diaper, or occasionally giving a medication at a certain hour if necessary.
But what made me think of your letter, Burnt, is that the idea that caretaker is just a happy little job is stupid. It is draining and unpleasant. Thinking that a caretaker should be happy with a meal is nuts. And a 12-hour shift is LONG. Any time after that the caretaker is very likely to start making mistakes or not noticing things. In my case the hired caretakers (company making tons of money, workers paid something like $15 an hour) seemed to think that I, the paying client, should be happy to have no sleep for 36 hours. I nearly went to the hospital after that. I think they were trying to start and run a business with too few workers, which I completely understand -- there is a caretaker shortage everywhere.
In any case, NO ONE -- paid caretakers nor primary ones -- can be expected to work more than a 12-hour shift. And a day off means 24 hours. (The better company I got gave each worker 3 paid days off a week). Burnt makes the point that many caretakers die BEFORE the PWD. Believe me, I got very close to the edge because I didn't really know the rules and what to expect. The first night I had good help I slept for nearly 30 hours.
Hubby just went to a nice assisted-living place here. Food is wonderful, staff is kind, other residents friendly, lots of services. I'm starting to realize now how seriously I was damaging my health. Hubby feels fine. I feel like I'm 105. (I'm 73.)
My constant hugs and wishes for all of you who are losing your health and even possibly lives in the situation we are all in.
Exactly like I said. A day off is 24 hours and the caregiver gets to leave the client's home.
Live-in caregivers do not get time-and-a-half pay even when they are agency hired.
They may get that if they work a holiday but it's usually limited to eight hours because that's considered a legal work day.
This is the only time a live-in caregiver gets time-and-a-half pay.
There are specific rules and regulations so check the law(s).
If they do not get what they are legally entitled to, they could sue you.
Google / research although, In part:
24 Hour Caregiver Salary in California
As of January 2023, most 24-hour caregivers in California must be paid a minimum wage of $488.25 per day. The caregiver’s first 8 hours worked must be paid a minimum wage of $15.50, but higher in many cities in California. Then, California law requires overtime payments of $23.25 per hour for the remaining 15 hours. A California caregiver working in cities with higher minimum wage laws must be paid at the applicable minimum wage. A 24-hour caregiver in California who is earning less than $488.25 per day can hire a caregiver lawyer to sue the employer.
Do caregivers get paid for sleeping?
Yes, a California caregiver must get paid for sleeping when required to remain on the premises. A caregiver must be paid even if they are surfing the internet, watching TV, socializing on the phone, and sleeping when the caregiver is on standby or under the control of their employer. If a caregiver in California is not allowed to leave at night, the caregiver must be paid for all overnight hours.
An employer of an in-home caregiver must not deduct sleep time from hours worked. If an employer deducts money for sleep time, the caregiver in California can hire a lawyer and may sue for over $100,000.
There are many rules for hiring a caregiver.
You might want to go through an agency although it is very expensive - although no workers' compensation fees / liability to you.
Yes, a caregiver gets paid for their time no matter what they are doing.
If they are on the clock, they are getting paid. They get paid salary though. Not hourly. So sleep time doesn't matter.
There are different employment rules for live-ins.
The same as there are different labor rules for people who work as restaurant waitstaff or hairdressers. There is no labor requirement that these workers even be paid minimum wage hourly because they get tips.
Whether an argument can be made for this being right or wrong, is not the point.
Live-in caregivers do not get paid hourly. They are on salary. Every hour they are being paid does not have to meet an hourly wage requirement. Live-ins also do not get overtime pay either. You put in your scheduled time and that's it. We did get time-and-a-half for holidays though, but only eight hours because that is considered full work day hours.
I know this because I worked a live-in position with another caregiver in the state of California. We split the week. Everything was on the up and up.
Most caregivers through an agency have to sign a disclosure agreement that they will not sue the agency if they are injured or have a problem the job. They can sue the client.
People hiring privately can also make this kind of contract with the caregivers they hire too.
Ask yourself how much time off do you get from your job? Start there.
Perfect lead-in. Thx
I ask this kind of question because I see through the eyes of a person who was a hired caregiver for many years.
Experience has taught me that more people than not treat this kind of work like it's somehow easier than other jobs. That for us the wiping and diapering of their loved ones' a$$es while spending hour after hour in their often filthy and hoarded homes listening to them repeat the same nonsense over and over again is "reward" enough so pay us as little as possible and we never even dream of wanting time off.
Believe it or not, I've had clients and client families who actually resented having to pay anything. They wanted an arrangement where they would provide me with lunch in exchange for babysitting their elder every afternoon, five days a week.
Of course, I laughed at such an offer, but there are people out there who think that's all this kind of work is worth.
I've worked for families who believed that I should be by their LO's side 24/7. That I should take their elder with me for holidays and that I should be available any time of the day or night because it's so rewarding. I remember one family in particular. My elderly client lived with her family who loved her so much and all they wanted was the reward of being her caregiver.
They hatched a plan one Thanksgiving. They didn't want to take her to their family holiday a few hours drive away in another state. They wanted the holiday without her which was completely understandable. They should have made other care arrangements.
So when my shift was over on Wednesday, no one came home. The husband, wife, and grown kids had planned it this way. They left directly from work and school to their Thanksgiving holiday plans and did not come home. They figured that I'd just stay with her for the holiday or take her with me because the work is just so rewarding that I wouldn't mind at all.
I called the daughter and SIL's jobs. I called the family where they were going to for Thanksgiving and I got nowhere.
I waited a few hours and called the police and told them to bring a social worker because a vulnerable elder with dementia had been abandoned by her family and I cannot reach them.
I left her with the police.
The family was fuming mad and didn't understand why I couldn't just "keep" her and let them have one holiday. They ended up getting in some trouble because the cops and the state were none too pleased by that little stunt of theirs.
I see things from the caregiver's perspective. No one should have to ask how much time off they should get.
They should get the same amount as the person asking.
I go to my mother-in-law’s every day 7days a week because I want to I don’t get paid I don’t want pay my husband goes when not working when the time comes one of us will start spending the night and I do believe we are entitled thru Medicare to get a nurse to come on I’m new to this only been doing it for 2yrs now it’s stressful but gotta do what we gotta do
If you've been at it for two years and haven't seen a nurse coming yet, they're probably not coming any time soon. Even if they do, it's not going to be what you may think it is.
Do you know how a visiting homecare nurse program works? They come in for about ten minutes once a week. Usually most of that ten minutes is spent documenting on their computer. This is about what you're going to get from a nurse coming in.
I was an in-home caregiver for 25 years and have been on more cases with nursing coming in than I can even count. I have never had a different experience with visiting nurse staff then I just told you about.
Medicare will pay for a CNA (Certified Nursing Assistant) also known as a 'caregiver' a few hours a week. They will help your MIL shower or wash up. This is what Medicare pays for. They don't pay for a caregiver to stay for hours on end or to stay all night and babysit someone.
I'm going to give you a good bit of advice here and I hope you take it to mind.
Is your mother-in-law well off enough financially that she can independently pay for 24-hour caregivers?
If she's not, then you should get her on a few waiting lists for LTC facilities.
You should do this now. Get her on a few lists for placement because everyone needs to have a Plan B.
Drop the whole "gotta do what we gotta do" attitude. This kind of nonsense can be dangerous and wreck your life.
Like I said I did this work for 25 years. I have seen firsthand once happy marriages and families consumed by the bottomless pit of an elder's needs and demands. I have seen it rob kids of their childhoods and turn them into angry young people who resent the parents and grandparents they once loved.
Do you know that something like 40% or 50% of caregivers die before the person they are taking care of?
So, you be careful with the "gotta do what we gotta do" approach if you have a spouse and children.
https://www.dol.gov/agencies/whd/direct-care/checklist-workers
Blessings