My dad (83) insists on keeping my mom with Alzheimer’s and a broken hip (82) at home. We have a variety of hired caregivers but she stays in a wet diaper 12 hours because he can’t/won’t change her at night. Now she has developed bed sores. I feel like she would get better, consistent care in a facility, at least until she is more mobile. None of us children live in the same town. Please share your experiences. Is it worth a fight?
There is no way that your mom should be left in a wet undergarment for 12 hours. That is negligent and harmful. Bedsores are serious business, and you need to do whatever you can to make sure she has proper care. Dad is not able to care for her now.
Bedsores can lose the licensure for an in-facility caregiving facility, so you can see how seriously it is taken.
Clearly your mother has now moved beyond your father's ability to care for her. Call APS. They will assess and assist when you mention bedsores; this now requires a wound care nurse. If this homecare cannot be safely done then they will assist in getting this out of your father's hands and control and getting mom into safe care.