How often should a 95-year-old shower?

I was a son taking of my mom. No showers.

Every morning, I gave her a warm soapy wash cloth so she could wash her face and arms. Every other day, I helped her change her bra, and washed her back, neck and assisted in washing her breasts. She was incontinent, so at least three times a day, I cleaned her rear end, put cream on to prevent pressure ulcers, and made sure she had new pull ups. Once a week I soaked her feet and powered them, cleaned her legs, and put lotion on. Clean pads and sheets daily. Once a month to the hairdresser for some special pampering. Our routine worked. She died in January at age 93.

My mother is 95 and she gets a shower every Sunday. She doesn't like it and she yells for her mother while telling me how mean I am, but she doesn't get to run the show and afterward she always comments on how good she feels being clean.

I have a shower chair that I sit her on and the shower head is on a rope thing and it all takes maybe 10 minutes at most. Then she goes through the lengthy process of getting every drop of water off her skin. I roll her hair, dress her, change her sheets and she's good to go for another week.

She gets her clothes changed daily during the week and I keep her back side clean as well as her hands.

The entire affair takes around 1.5 hours at most.

I hate doing it but it must be done.

Personal hygiene, cleaning any area that has been soiled by urine or fecal matter as needed.
In many cases 2 showers a week are sufficient
Bed bath can be done as well or in addition.
But at each change properly cleaning the peri area. Clean, dry and if ointment/barrier cream is used pat it on do not rub it on and use as little as possible as long as it is effective. During a shower or cleaning it is not necessary to remove all of any residual cream gently wipe the area as well as you can.

My MIL only showers about once a month. She's 87 and very active, but her hair doesn't get greasy and she has no body odor. It's weird, but she just doesn't need to.

Incontinency is a common problem with the elderly. It is the leading cause for people to be in nursing homes! Whether they are incontinent or not, twice a week shower is a good target to shoot for! Resisting showers is also a common problem!
In many situations you are dealing with an adult child who wants things there way. Act like their parent and you set the rules ! Good luck!

Honestly, twice a week should be sufficient, as you can use the extra large body wipes and the waterless shampoo and conditioner caps(both you can order from Amazon, or Walmart.com)for the in between days if needed.
But like Grandma1954 said below, make sure she is being properly cleaned up after each bowel movement and change of diaper.(again the extra large body wipes come in handy for that)

Shower about once weekly, substitute with using creams and lotions for dry skin unless the bottom or other body areas gets soiled.

Hello, my dad stopped all hygiene at age 96. He’s in assisted living but becomes quite agitated when staff attempts to shower him or help with shaving or brushing his teeth. We don’t force it on him. He has no body odor and his teeth look fine. He still dresses sharp everyday and keeps his ribbon of hair tamed. He is a stubborn and proud man. We let him control as much of his life as he can.

The issue is that bathing is a big challenge for seniors. Physically, but also mentally. Such a private thing, they wish they could still do themselves, so they avoid it.

You can help that with the right temperature, not too hot on the water but warm enough in the room. Calming music. The right person that makes them feel safe

That said..

#1 As much as is medically necessary. Maybe 1x week. And that can be fulfilled with lesser degrees of bathing between.

#2 Whatever is a good routine. They need the right person to help them feel safe. 1x week is pretty normal.

#3 If you skip a week but clean thoroughly in key areas and the such, no need to stress on it. Be flexible. The key is health. They bathed 2x year in some 1800s villages. Lol

As often as she pleases.