Hello, fellow caregivers! 6 years in, just found this site - feel like someone threw me a life preserver! I'm ashamed to say it but I am pretty much doing just what needs to be done. I don't have any respite other than when I go to my full-time day job. Mom had a stroke in 2008, has diabetes, vascular dementia, arthritis, high blood pressure, Achalasia...just took her in and she now has thyroid issues. Up until a month ago she was up several times every night, until doc started her on Seroquel, now she sleeps a bit better (and so do I). She can no longer read or do crosswords or even see tv well. My mom raised 7 kids by herself and helped with several grandkids. No one visits or calls, except maybe on holidays. Maybe. Sometimes. Ok, rarely. I'm having trouble staying motivated and try to remember how hard it must be for her to lay there all day. She grew up on a farm in a huge family, and it was the happiest time of her life. I read her James Herriott's books and she enjoys those. I feel like I've lost myself. I do like to garden, read, and enjoy my pup/grandpups. Mom's at a point now where if I walk out of the room she's likely to call me. Was gardening one day - she didn't want to go outside and sit with me - when she threw a coffee mug through one of the windows - luckily my grandpup was there and he came running to get me. She told me she called 911 because no one would answer when she called (I was right outside). She can't wander or anything like that, but wants someone in room with her or she gets scared. I know I'm burned out, but how do I regain a balance? Any suggestions from those that have been there/done that? Blessings and peace to you all!
As far as staying motivated, I do get a break during the day when I work and we have caregivers who stay until 8 pm to give me time to be with my husband. One of the caregivers gives me every other weekend off so I try and "refresh" at that time. It is difficult to balance your work life, home life, and family life. Good luck with it and I will be praying for you!
I work from home. I don't know if I could handle it if I had a job outside the home, then had to come home to do everything. That would be very hard. I'm glad you found this group. When I read some things, it makes me feel better to know I'm not alone with the things faced daily. Welcome!
I do understand how exhausting it came be though. For awhile I was trying to care for her, get medical appts., locate a facility, handle financial affairs, etc. It is extremely stressful.
You say you work during the day. Who stays with your mom? It's horrible you don't get any real help from your siblings. Would it matter if you told them point blank what you need? Some people are just ignorant and others choose to ignore. Since you know your siblings, you can determine if it's worth the energy to seek their help.
I would certainly get some respite. You need that. It's not just for you. Your mom needs you to be refreshed and in good spirits. If you don't get some mental health days, you won't do her much good.
There are places you can get assistance with in home care. I would explore them. This is true, regardless of the financial situation.
IMO, reading this site is a very good way to charge your batteries and learn how to treat yourself better. It taught me to assess my situation, weigh the options, do my research and locate the place I needed. It's given me support in being an advocate for my cousin. Here you can benefit from other caregiver's experiences. I'm sure you have a lot to offer others here.