How to afford senior care?

The going rate for a non agency caregiver is about 20 percent higher than minimum wage. Agencies cost about double this.

The rate for a studio, which may only have provisions for a minifridge and microwave, starts at 3 times that of a 1br for the general population. This is assuming no services but housekeeping. Anything more and you’ll have to pay for it, which could double the cost.

KellyO: Your mother pays for her care in a managed care facility.

look at all possibilities.

my mom lives in a facility and it is not perfect but the private caregivers for her keep her content and she is not lonely.

My MIL is like your mom and needs services. We are all actively involved with her so we decided to hire a caregiver/driver/housekeeper and we posted an ad in Craigslist gig. It was 10 dollars for 30 days and we received 29 applications in 3 days. It is important to write a specific job description and also inform the applicants how to respond. I specifically asked applicants to please detail how their background and experience matched the job description. Only 6 people did that! And only 4 people were better with 1 person being heads and shoulders above the rest. We did a FaceTime interview, she sent me a copy of her valid driver lic and her references. After I phoned each of them and found out the duties she performed for them; I was ready for a face to face interview. It was and still is a match. She has been with my MIL for a year in June 2024. My MIL is difficult AND I put that in the ad. “A person with easily hurt feelings will not succeed in this job.” She experienced this after a couple of months but hung in there. I really think my MIL tries to test people and find their breaking point. Best wishes.

I would suggest FIRST! that you contact DMV to have her driving assessed.

Look at the various independent and assisted living facilities in your area, cost, services, meals, etc. After I moved into Independent Living I also got "home" insurance, just as if I had an apartment in town, or a home. I wanted to protect the facility if my husband, or now myself, caused a fire. Neither of us smoke(d) but didn't want to take a chance somehow I left a burner on, or something. Once you get a facility for placement, contact an insurance company. Start on line, then phone calls, visits with agents. Look up ratings on line for the companies' ratings, problems, praises, etc.

When my husband got to to the stage it no longer safe to keep him at home, I looked up facilities on line, read their bios, called some, got pricing, looked at my budget, and decided the nicest ones were out of my pention income reach and there would be no money left for me when my time came. Now it is my time, and I'm in the same situation, how to pay for my care. I don't want my kids to shell out $5000 each month of their own money. I purposely went to work in my mid 40's to save for both of our possibilities to need a nursing home. My husband did, too. We made sure we took care of our own selves in case we got dementia and had to be placed. If I had my way, upon getting dementia, I would have gladly ended my life peacefully , but it's not the way life works, so I am here on the early stages of dementia and having to think of what's next. My husband died while in assisted living, as he fell and they couldn't save him before the fall. He was not designated as only bed-ridden, so he was free to get up to go to the bathroom, and he fell several times doing that one day. I myself am also a fall risk, but not as bad as he ended up. I am trying to be ready for my turn in a nursings home. Don't like it, but don't want my son to be responsible for me.financially. Contact different companies, after reading reviews on line, in the city you want to place your loved one, look up their rating with better business bureau, and consumers reports. That's how I made my decisions. I also asked the campanies how they were rated on better business bureau, then looked up to see if they were truthful. And, I visited some nearby facilities. Hard decisions, but pocketbook speaks for itself, how much can I spare each month for my loved one's or my own care? Consumers Reports type magazines has some reviews of facilities in a particular area. I look at management, cost, amenities, care, reviews from current residents/families, and make decisions. ATTEND MEETINGS ON CARING OR PLACING SENIORS IN YOUR AREA. i did and it helped a lot. .

Please, for the sake of humanity, take her car away.

That should be the #1 priority.

I am back again on this question on how to start looking for a place for Mom. I placed myself in a facility that has Independent living, Assisted Living, and Memory Care.. I knew about this, as I attended some workshops while my husband had memory loss, and I found him trying to cross this major highway to go for his walk. At that point, without tying him to his recliner or bed, I immediately contacted facilities to place him. I knew he would do this again and again. It happens. If you don't realize it, talk with someone who works in memory care. I would have hated myself forever if I let my husband get out of my sight and he got killed by a car while walking. He just took his right of way when he didn't have it. Whose fault would it have been if he got killed? Or caused someone else to get killed trying to avoid him? Mine. Not the driver's. fault. They can only do so much to avoid hitting someone who is wrongfully crossing a street or highway when doing so could get them killed if the person crossings the highway or street is in the WRONG . Be aware of your pareents/spouses' actions if they have memory loss. And don't wait too long before contacting doctors. There is medication. BUT not enough to allow them to drive, just to live day to day. I myself am now on medication for memory loss. Yeah, I can still write these stupid comments on Aging Care, but have memory enough to know what is right or wrong, having lived through my spouse's memory loss, and now mine.

This really gets me. KellyO states her mother has cognitive decline, and severe hearing loss. AND she is still driving. I am 84, and when I started to get short term memory loss, I immediaely contacted a Veterans organization to donate my car. My only child, a 50+ year old son did not even know I did this until it was done and I told him. And, this mother, for which her children know she has memory loss, is still driving? How stupid are they? I was terribly afraid I would lose my memory at a red light or stop sign and take the right away when I was supposed to stop. If I tangled with another car, I could have killed someone or myself. That was 3 years ago. Oh, yes. I miss just getting into my car and going to the store for ice cream. BUT, people on the road are safe from me. My son didn't even know I did that till it was done. Children, please take charge of your parents who show signs of dementia. It could save a life and maybe even yours. Once the car is gone,, be there for your Mom. If your parents didn't plan for their senior years possibly in a facility, shame on them. But, they cannot live alone if they show these signs of dementia. And more important, they shall not drive. Period. Who will be charged if their grown children didn't stop them from driving, and someone gets killed? It will come back on the grown children who should have known better than to let their parent drive with a little dementia. Once dementia sets in, you do not know when the mind will snap and at one single moment danger can prevail, without them even knowing about it.
How do I know this? My husband had dementia, and I took his keys from him. I found him one day trying to put a key to a tool box into the ignition, as well as well as the house key. AND, I myself, noticed my own memory loss some 4 years later. What did I do. I immediately contacted a Veterans organization to donate my car. I am on memory medication, which helps only a little. In this case, I placed myself into a facility where I can progress from independent living to memory care when the time is right. My son has no idea how I did this, with short term memory loss. To him, I was still the fiesty old lady, who had a very important government job, who suddenly after retirement got dementia. Didn't even recognize that. I myself knew what was causing my stupid actions. I myself took my car to a place where I could donate it. No one told me to do this or to stop driving. I did it on my own. If your parents cannot do this on their own, do it for them. If they are driving with dementia, and kill someone, believe me, the courts can go after you, the children. Be there for them. Protect them and yourselves. Nuff said.

There are many places that can help with that. Do you have an aging services or senior services in your town or county? Look for home care or assisted living placement in your area. Any AL will be happy to give you a quote. You can talk to a Medicare rep who can tell you what she needs to qualify for medicare. Best of luck.

I would place Mom into Assisted Living and bypass trying to get services in. IMO she needs 24/7 care and there are no outside services that will give you that. At her age decline can happen overnight, literally. The Nurses I worked for called them episodes. Could be a small stroke while sleeping. It happened with a client we had.

You will need to call around to ALs and MCs in your area to find out costs. Every State and specific area are different in pricing. I live in NJ, in the South. I am sure that our ALs are cheaper than those up near NYC.

First terms...
Memory Care= for those with dementia or other cognitive conditions that may also make them a flight risk since most if not all MC are locked.
Nursing Home= Old term Currently more appropriate term is Skilled Nursing facility. this is for people with medical conditions that would make their care impossible in other settings. Most Memory Care will not take someone that has "tubes" so any "ostomy", intubation, IV's, feeding tubes, and the like would need SNF. And anyone that needs equipment to be transferred. Currently I think Rehab and Skilled are the only ones that can use equipment. Oxygen may be another thing that can be used in SNF due to the highly explosive nature it needs to be kept safe.
Assisted Living= People that can do most ADL's but may need some help with them or meds.

Cost of each one of these depends greatly on the are you live in.
It also will depend on the level of care that a person needs.
If mom owns her home if you take the total cost of ownership like mortgage, insurance, taxes, all utilities, food and all the other things you may find that the cost might be the same as AL.

The other option is hiring caregivers and keeping mom home. You would have to compare cost of caregivers and how many hours you would need and if you need 24 hour care.

You can fill out the info form on this site to obtain info on care in your area. You can also call your local Council on Aging and request a needs assessment to get a better idea of what to expect

Kelly,

I'm going through something similar with my mom's hearing. Mom has actually been death in one ear since childhood, and poor hearing in the other ear.

She always read lips and we just always new we had to look at my mom when we talk, never really even thinking of why, it was just natural.

Anyways, recently she can't hear at all but won't get new hearing aids. ( She only needs one, there's no help for the other ear) Im figuring out it's not her ears, it's her mental decline. It's taking longer to get information into her brain. I have to talk slower and wait longer for her to comprehend what I've said. And it takes longer for her to answer. And she is using her hearing as an excuse.

Just wondering if that maybe a little of what's going on with your mom