How to change that Mom stays up all night (and moves documents around, loses stuff, and wakes everyone up wandering) and sleeps all day?

Report your mom to the MVA. They will require her to take a physical exam including tests for her reflexes and vision. If she fails her license is suspended. Mom will probably try to drive without her license so you then might need to disable her car. Lots of ways to do that.

If her doctor is enabling, someone needs MPOA or at least a HIPPAA waiver. Get Mom's records. If there is NO mention of her alcohol abuse or dementia, or no mention of any psych testing, tell the doctor that they will either address this or be reported to the state medical board. Don't be shy, and file that complaint. You may find you have lots of company complaining, or that the PCP doesn't see Mom enough to know anything about her situation.

I am less concerned about Mom and more concerned about her potential victims. Start with sister, and support her to stop enabling. Then try to save Mom's potential driving victims.

Mom can and will do herself in and you can't save her from herself. You can decide to let her be miserable by herself. Set boundaries and stick with them. Help your sister break free from Mom.

Eventually one of you will get the call that Mom is in hospital. Insist that she is an unsafe discharge, that there is no one who can take care of her, and get her into a LTC facility. That is your best, safest path forward through the mess your Mom has made.

There is no multi actions needed.
Living with alcoholic is a losing battle. More likely facility /rehab for alcoholics required. It is a problem you cannot correct alone, it needs team approach.

kafers1: As your mother unfortunately suffers from Alzheimer's, under NO circumstances should she be operating a motor vehicle, let alone driving under the influence of wine. It is IMPERATIVE that the automobile be disabled by any means possible to stop this dangerous situation. Your mother also requires memory care facility living.

I’m not sure what disturbs me most, her driving under the influence or driving with dementia. Stop her! Then address her alcohol abuse problem. Prowling around at night is the least of the problems here.

Sounds like it is time to move to memory care. She is sundowning and you can’t change the time she does this. In memory care she might have company because many with dementia sundown.

Take the car keys away and make appointments with a Geriatric neurologist and a Geriatric Psychiatrist (perhaps medications to reverse her sleep cycle).

This is such a big problem, with a variety of factors, that I believe an incremental, multi-pronged action needs to happen. #1 Safety. The car needs to be moved, if jyst around the corner, under some made up excuse, like it needs to go to the mechanic for some lengthy repair (so she will get used to it being gone). And the keys hidden. So she doesn't drive, and also so others can control the buying of the wine (don't worry Mom, we'll get it for you). Once she gets used to the car gone, bring it back, but offer to drive her everywhere, and more important, buy her wine before she has to. See below on the wine. #2 Those who are there need to start reversing the hours & alcohol. This will take diligence and creativity. Your Mom can't know the reasons or she will act out. Ultimately, she needs to lessen greatly or quit drinking, and stay awake during the day. But take it slow. You will need to evolve to that goal, by slowly letting her sleep and drink less and less during the day. This means giving her less and less alcohol (don't quit all at once, but taper slowly, as fragile people die from the withdrawals). Research withdrawal nutrition, to add in. Control the wine. Offer glasses when you know she wants some, but fill it less and less or add non-alcoholic wine, juice, or water to it bit by bit, in unnoticeable increments. For the sleeping, that would be incremental as well, letting her sleep less and less, or at least wake her up often. Make excuses why she is woken up, like a good movie is on, or some meal she loves, or tell her you'd like her to come visit with everyone or wake her "from her nap" and keep her awake asking her questions and letting her talk. Have sounds on like good music, shows. Replace both drinking and sleeping with loving & engaging activities, and healthy eating & drinking habits. Offer other drinks along with the wine. Water, as wine makes uou thirsty and she may automatically reach fior the other drink. Sunshine, opened drapes (once she has lesser hangovers - my Mom in her dementia needed them opened bit by bit), walks, music, good TV/movies, games, visits, letters, crafts, animals, getting out, Things that are important to her. Eventually, you can switch the tide, and it may not take all that long. And though a lot of work at first, worthwhile diligence that will bring joy to the entire household, and get your Mom healthier. God bless!

Why does sister not use Moms Social Security for her care?

You may need to place Mom. Hopefully one of you has POA it will be easier. If no money you can apply for Medicaid to help offset her care. Her SS and any pension she has will go towards her care.

If Mom winds up in the hospital and rehab especially, tell the Social Worker that you will not be bringing her home. She needs 24/7 care you can no longer give. Do not let them tell you that there is help. There is not enough help. Once you walk out the door with Mom, she is your responsibility. Rehab is a better place to have her evaluated. They are usually attached to a Long-term care facility so transitioning from Rehab to LTC is easy. The SW can help you start the Medicaid process if Mom has no assets.

This sounds like a really untenable situation with the violence and drinking. Is memory care an option? I don't know if they accept patients with a substance abuse problem, then of course there is the financial aspect. Sounds like the sister is being abused by the mother.

I bought a small, fireproof safe to keep my LO's documents in. It is a key lock and is too heavy for her to move around. They come in various sizes. Or, purchase a used 2-drawer rolling file cabinet that locks.

Hide the car keys so she at least can't access the vehicle. Hide her money so she can't buy it (put it in the locking cabinet in your room), put an alarm on her bedroom door or use a baby monitor so she won't wander out of the house at night (which she is likely to do even without a car or money).

Find activities for her body and mind during the day so that she burn energy and can hopefully sleep at night. Reversed body clock is a very common feature in a phase of dementia. We had my elderly LO fold stacks of kitchen towels and sort things several times a day. We purchased a used portable table-top exercise pedaler which she did for 20 minutes while watching TV. We had her read aloud to us, chop vegetables, walk to the mailbox (she was 100+ yrs old). Doing this helped her to not need Tylenol PM or other sleeping aids, at least for about a year.

Talk to her doctor about meds. Dementia is a moving target with behavior phases. Be prepared to continue to problem-solve as new behaviors appear.

There are 2 REAL good reasons that your mom should not have access to a vehicle.
1. With a diagnosis of dementia/Alzheimer's she should not drive for a variety of reasons.
2. While under the influence of alcohol she should not be driving.
Disable the car so she can not drive.
Unfortunately you are dealing with 2 diseases.
Dementia and Alcoholism.
Depending on the degree of alcoholism she may need medical help to stop.
Is her doctor aware of the drinking? If not they should be made aware as it can effect other medications.
Is there an Adult Day Program in your area that she could participate in? That would keep her busy during the day an possibly "reset" her clock.
The alcohol problem needs to be addressed first and for that discuss options with her doctor.