My husband and I sold our home and bought my parent's house almost 2 years ago, my mother and I have had a rocky relationship my whole life I mainly did this for my dad, but my mother is mean and nasty to me constantly making life suck. I have no life outside of here have let all my friends go because of the guilt she puts on me if I mention spending time with them. My husband recently was diagnosed with Parkinson's and I'm running myself ragged let alone I'm disabled with a broken back, bad knees and lots of other stuff. I'm so depressed and getting verbally, emotionally abused by my mother and don't know what to do. My brother's want nothing to do with the care of my parents because of her! She's beyond mental and she is causing me to have a hardened heart towards her I feel numb when it comes to her! I don't know where to turn what to do. My oldest son lives with us and his 6 year old daughter and my mother is nasty to her a lot and it's a problem I don't know what to do. I was raised to respect my elders but how do you give it when you don't get it? I've cried all day because inside I feel hate and I don't want to but she makes me feel that way. My husband wants to sell the house and make them go to the nursing home because he's tired of watching it happen to me repeatedly and my dad lets her get away with it. My brother says stay away when she's acting like that, but if that's the case I'd never go in their part of the house! Just needed to vent need suggestions on what to do. Thank you.
It is progressive disease and decrease of dopamine and stress will make it worse. And you have your own health problems.
If your husband was diagnosed recently it is possible you have few years of relatively good time together.
I know because my husband was diagnosed with Parkinson’s almost ten years ago, however for over 5 years we had the best years living very normal lives.
Please get your toxic mother out, AL or other facility.
You and your husband deserve some peace.
Your brother is sensible, you should be too. Your Father is part of the problem because he "lets her get away with it". Until you and your husband agree to act, F has no reason for objecting to M.
You are not doing the right thing by your son and his daughter, even if that is your justification for putting up with all this. Son needs to stand on his own feet in separate accommodation, or else live with you without this 'mean nasty' woman who is 'nasty a lot' to his child.
If you are acting like this because "my mother and I have had a rocky relationship my whole life", you have been groomed from birth. Counseling might help you to recognise it, and stop acting like everyone has to kow-tow to M. Everyone, as in you, DH, F, son and GD, tip-toeing around a 'mean nasty woman'.
What you are putting up with and exposing your precious 6 year old granddaughter to is criminal. Just because you grew up with this abuse does not mean that this innocent child should be exposed to it.
I mean...what the h*ll were you thinking when you decided it was a good idea to buy your parents house and all live together, knowing full well what a mean and nasty woman your mother is? Did you honestly believe that your mother would suddenly turn into a mild manner saint who would love and adore you just because you said she could live with you?
Of course your brother wants nothing to do with your parents care. Who in their right mind would? At least your brother has some sense, and it's now time that you get some too. It's not too late.
Your living arrangement with your mother sounds like pure hell and no one should ever live like that nor allow other family members to be subjected to it.
If you don't feel like you deserve better (though you actually do) at least make the necessary changes by getting the parents out of the house or selling the house and placing parents in an assisted living facility for your innocent granddaughter who does deserve so much better.
I am sorry that you and your husband made such a horrible mistake by living with your parents, but only you can correct it, and I hope you will before it's too late.
Love this.
Make an arrangement and tell her she's leaving by 'X' date and if she refuses, then you will legally evict her from your premesis. So her choices are take whatever place you find and help her move into, or a cardboard condo in the park it will be.
In the meantime, when she's being nasty to your daughter or anyone else give it right back to her. Tell her to shut the hell up. Then follow that with a period of excluding and ignoring her.
Believe me your 6 year-old granddaughter will benefit more in life from seeing you set an example of respecting yourself by not allowing the elder or anyone else to treat either of you abusively. Respecting your elders does not mean take abuse from them. It does not mean let them behave abusively to your child or your home. It does not mean you have to be slaves to them or play their abusive games. Respect is not any of these things.
So you lay down the ultimatum to your mother that her abuse will not be tolerated in your house anymore, and it is YOUR house. If you bought and paid for it, then it is yours.
She has to go though. You've got enough on your plate and don;t need more.
You all deserve PEACE. You need to find away to get her out. This will not get better, only worse.
I find it amazing how one senior can make such a havoc in so many lives, 3 generations here. Your not the first or the last .
Best of luck, keep us posted
Do you want permission to not care for your parents? Ok. You don’t have to take care of your parents.
Do you realize you very well could die before everyone else?
Why do you sit there and watch your granddaughter get abused by your mother? That is unreal to me.
What do you need from us?
Not a lets be mean to people group!
She wants to know her option!
She what's to not feel alone!
Your mother will never change. She’s extremely mean to you and will continue to be mean to you. Most likely she’ll get meaner and meaner as the months, years go by.
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