I want to be in an informed, involved caregiver for my mom, who is now 61 and has been in her secure memory facility for almost a year. Her concept of time is so confused now, that after about 15 mins she tells me its time for me to leave - and will get agitated if I don't. So I usually leave, even though it makes me feel horrid. The nurses know about it, and I can tell they feel sorry for me too. Sometimes I just call to check on her instead of driving up there to visit b/c it hurts for her to tell me to leave. I know she's happy, safe, and healthy. They take great care of her and she participates in all the activities and field trips. And enjoys it. She has a little bit of her own money and they manage that for her as well.
Anyone out there go through this?
My mother is totally without a sense of time. If she asks for a sweater and I say "I'll get you one from the bedroom," I haven't even made it out of the room we're in and she'll say, "Jeanne, where is that sweater!" It is not that she is so demanding. It is that she doesn't know whether it has been 30 seconds or 30 minutes since she made the request!
Try not to take it personally. I am sure no matter what this is a part of the disease and not a true reflection of how your Mom feels.
OR - maybe you could have a set routine with your visits and have her check them off with you as you are there. Like-1. Daughter enters room , takes off coat and sits down -2. We have a drink together ( if possible-coffee, tea, lemonade?)3. We look at small photo album4. We do a small puzzle together. 5. We take a bathroom break 6. Daughter gets coat and says goodbye and leaves. I would have that on a chart and check off each done activity. Of course do Activites tht you two like-I just threw those together. Maybe make the chart simple-
1. Daughter comes in
2. Drink lemonade
3.look at photo album
4. Complete a small puzzle
5.daughter leaves
You could use picture cues if needed next to each task.
Just some thought for you. Good luck!!