Mom is 82 lives with me, she gives me a hard time about taking showers, says I wash up! My other issue is I can't get her to do anything like crafts,puzzles etc she just wants to eat and sleep,and also complains about what is on tv even if it is what she said she wants to watch, if I give her simple task like matching socks, dusting she tells me she can't do it she's 82 so needless to say I can't win I'm lost I don't want to put her in a nursing home but she's not making it easy! I'm trying to find respite in my area no luck yet, I have little to no help besides my hubby who has back problems. I do have a brother with in 2 hrs of me but he is always to busy I can't even get him to stay a weekend with her to give us a break. But more concerned with winter (Michigan) and her getting more depressed,she does have dementia and sun downers.
You may be coming close to the end of what are your human limitations. We all have them. Try not to get the "guilties" on top of the "fix its" because the combo is quite lethal. Guilt is for those who have intentionally harmed another. Not for folks who have reached the end of what they are able to endure. It is time to start to consider placement I think. See if you can have a family conversation about this. Be honest. Saints have a very ugly job description. Get shot full of arrows, die, spend eternity trying to fix everything for everyone. Don't go there.