My parent has been writing checks to random people and so I took away the checkbook. Now everytime he talks to me he asks for the checkbook and is mad at me. For awhile I said I didn't have it and maybe my brother or husband did....but that isn't working. Any creative ideas how to handle this?
You have already given him some explanations and I'm still not sure if those explanations were actually accepted by him, but later forgotten. Just because he keeps asking, may not mean that he does not believe you. It could also mean that he doesn't recall your answer. Why not ask about recent conversations and see how much he's actually retaining. Sometimes, with dementia, you have to keep repeating the same answer over and over. I have answered the same question from my cousin over 100 times in one day. This can go on for weeks.
Sometimes, it will run its course and the question will stop. It's difficult to predict.
I'm sorry, I know I must seem to be splitting hairs. I'm just trying to understand whether your father is a dotty old guy who will soon get over the frustration of the missing check book, or if it's possible that we're all slightly jumping the gun here - in your case with the best of intentions, of course - and it is far from surprising that your father is getting increasingly irritated about his missing check book.
If the handyman earned the money, then why wouldn't he cash the check?
It's nice that you are sensitive and want dad to preserve his dignity. Often, things get ugly and it doesn't work that way, because dementia causes the person to not be able to process the problem and see the solution. It's a very stressful situation. I hope you can find some answers that help.
If he's sending away for goods and you can't do that, then tell him the bank has recalled the check book for security reasons and you are waiting for them to issue a replacement. And cross your fingers behind your back.
You do have POA for your father, yes?