My FIL (age 82) has always been a very strong person, always fought his way though any surgery or illness, very determined to get strong. He has always done well with recovery. Except for now.
He has CHF and got sick with pneumonia. If that wasn't bad enough, in the middle of that, he developed a bowel obstruction which required emergency surgery! He was in the ICU for over a week and developed delirium. He largely snapped out of the delirium, but now is on his third week in the hospital and he is extremely depressed, sleepy and will barely eat. He will converse some.
He acknowledges that he knows he needs to eat, but says he is too tired. He is very weak and won't be strong enough to even attempt rehab until he eats and gains a little strength. He won't drink Ensure or even a tasty milkshake or smoothie.
Has your loved one been in this situation? How did you get them to eat?
My FIL died this morning, Christmas day.
Long story short, my FIL, in the hospital with kidney issues stopped eating. We got a psych consult, who ordered a speech consult.
He'd had a stroke and couldn't swallow, nor could he explain. Just said "I can't eat".
Thankfully a lot of his family are traveling from out of state to attend the funeral and I think this will lift everyone’s spirits. They are a lively bunch.
It is so hard to understand that our elders can come to that time when they just long for peace and rest. I am sorry to know you are grieving the loss of your FIL now. I so remember my Dad just longing to go. He had had a good life and was so ready. My heart goes out to you all.
Pay attention to how much he is taking so you can tell if he is making progress.
I am always watchful for swallowing issues so ask about a speech therapist. You don’t want him to aspirate.
When my cousins mom had COVID, she had to use a dropper to help her. Believe him when he says he is tired.
I am sorry you and FIL are going through this.
It is hard.
Sorry for you and your dad
May The Lord give you all grieving mercies, comfort and peace.
He was a good man.
When a persons body is preparing for the death journey, it will not want any food or drink as the digestive system is the first to shut down and it can be very painful for either to be forced upon them.
Perhaps it's time to call hospice in and let your FIL die in peace and on his own terms.
God bless you and your family.
See All Answers