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After my father passed, my mother allowed my aunt and grandmother to move in bc it helped her financially and at that time, it was good company for her...(or so she thought)...I never thought it was a good idea but since I was the “child” at the time (actually 20, but still the “child” of the situation)..my feelings were ignored.


Fast forward 10 years later, my mom completely regrets it. Unfortunately, my aunt and gram put themselves in to a bad financial situation and have completely ruined their credit and are running low on money..(whole other story)...so basically they’re not going anywhere. I moved back in to help so my mom doesn’t get stuck with the burden of it all...but I am MISERABLE living with them. My gram is 88 and has declined health wise over the past year. My aunt is depressed and just completely revolves her life around taking care of my gram....but is always miserable and complaining but refused to place her anywhere. My grandmother, not to sound rude, is not the easiest to deal with. She can’t walk well, so she needs to be served meals and other things along that line..... suffers from depression also, and is just plain selfish. Always has been. Never one to care for anyone. She’s very to herself and very demanding. I’m actually surprised my mother and aunt show such care and dedication to her. (I know this may sound cruel but this is years of observation and hearing stories from my family)... My mom and aunt are at a complete loss bc if I move back out - mom's screwed and I’d feel horrible. Does anyone living in the NYC area know anything about senior living? Nothing fancy. But we feel we need to start looking in to this and figure out a plan. Something needs to change! I need a life back! And my mom needs peace.

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I don't live in NYC but I don't think you need a lawyer to apply for Medicaid. In MN my MIL did not. You can go online to the Dept of Health and Human Services website and read up on it and download the form. You can also contact your local area's Council on Aging and they have lots of information and resources.
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Hate to be a downer but NYC and proximity to it have high costs. Can they get on Medicaid? Is there some money to hire a lawyer for that? If you want to PM me I can give you the name of a lawyer about 20 miles north of the city who has handled alot of elder care cases
Also the facilities that are for profit ones including those who are a chain of many really can be gouging.
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