Spouse has been to ER for various things 3x this week. Today is another trip for his care, something relatively minor but still needing a professional's conducting the procedure. He raved at me "don't leave me alone, I've never been so sick, where are you going, don't go downstairs, why can't I see you" before I dropped him off at ER and I would like advice on what to say if he's still raving and ER Dr wants to discharge him to me. I believe he could be better served by admitting until tomorrow. When he's not with me, he "presents" very well to Drs. I honestly do not know what to say to prevent this happening again if he's in the same angry state as hours ago when I go to check his condition and possibly pick him up.
Tomorrow is /possibly/ another VA visit to do further tests; Spouse complains of "pain under his left arm and just generally not feeling well." He shoves away dinner with meat and veg after about 1/2 cup of volume, asks about dessert, which he eats 90 percent of bowl of ice cream or cake, etc. I'm also noticing the greater agitation around evening and wonder if he's sundowning.
I would like to know more about Baker Act and if the VA would do that for him while "testing for a diagnosis" re the not eating and general weakness. Spouse seems to deliberately misunderstand that if you don't eat, you get weak, and this has been going on since about March 15.
VA appt is on Thursday, a colonoscopy which is an endurance test after the Golightly and dose of salts. Thursday a.m. means leaving the house at 6.30 to drive 17 miles to pick up the VA bus for a 3 hour ride to the hospital. The drivers are incredibly kind and accommodating.
Spouse is already weakened by his self-imposed starvation; upside is that Dr. okayed Ensure and that the VA will lodge us overnight. I don't think they do meals gratis but there is a cafe open till ? I hope there's a microwave in the room. I'm budgeting $50 for the meals until arrival home at 7 p.m. Friday.
Followup question is what to do if Spouse protests. I plan on telling him tonight after dinner.
You can try to introduce the person as coming to help you. Sometimes that works better than saying they are there to care for him.
If you can leave the house after you have shown the person the ropes. Let them do their job.
If you hubby balks, tell him the next option is placement in a facility.
Yes, its an "unsafe" discharge. But that would mean you feel threatened or you are just not able to care for him. He has been to the ER 3x in a week. I would think that in itself would be a good reason to admit him and you want him admitted, not observed. Observed your insurance may not pay for.
From what you wrote, I think his care may be getting too much for you. You may want to consider placing him and protecting your share of the assets. Medicaid allows assets and income to be split allowing spend down for the person needing care. Its called the Community Spouse. You will have your home and a car. You will not be impoverished. You can consult with a lawyer but make sure he is well versed in Medicaid.
The other way is if he is ever hospitalized long enough for rehab send him and then have him evaluated for LTC. If he meets the criteria you can transfer him into the LTC section, if rehab and LTC are in the same building. If not, you can transfer him to another facility. Again, you can become a Community Spouse. It all depends though, or your income and assets. Too high, you may not qualify for Medicaid help.