I'm such a newbie to dealing with a demented 94-yr-old, very willful mother. She was placed in a very nice A.L. facility about 3 weeks ago. She is now (LOUDLY, I might add) asking me (and staff) when she can get out of there. Then she follows me to the front door, watches me fumble with the door key-code pad and tries to follow me outside. I cannot divert her attention or get her to go back to her room. She just stands there. Fact is, she has no home to go to. As soon as we moved her to AL, we terminated the lease on her I.L. apartment and got rid of her household belongings. She is not capable of living alone. Anyway, how do I answer the "going home" question?
Or, you can ask a staff member to help you with the handover: "Here's Marcia, she'll take you to the living room, your programme's just about to start." Try to time your exits with key moments in the facility's routine, say lunch or dinner.
You also have to tell her you love her, give her a hug and a kiss, and then go and not look back. Leaving your mother behind a locked door is hard enough without imprinting her standing there on your mind.