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How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
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By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
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You wife is likely well aware that something is wrong, but she is, understandably, in denial. I'm assuming she has had a complete physical and an official diagnosis, so the doctor should be the one to tell her, with you there to support her. Then talk about options to help slow symptoms - the sooner the better. Take care, Carol
As Carol said, if she has had an official diagnosis, the doctor should be the one to tell her. Even after the doctor told my mother she denied that there was anything wrong and flushed the Aricept down the toilet. Others I've spoken with have had similar things happen with their loved one. Acceptance often comes in stages (and sometimes not at all).
Some families said that having a family meeting to discuss the diagnosis and to begin preparing (as much as possible) for the future helped. Many had the meeting WITHOUT the person present (especially if they were still in denial). For other families, having the person present helped. By hearing and knowing they would be taken care of ~ and being able to give their input and thoughts on the type of care they want ~ helped them accept the diagnosis.
Like the others have said I would have the Dr tell her, but I would be with her if I were you. She is aware that something is wrong. Reassure her and do what you can to comfort her. l would also encourage you to have a discussion about what she wants and does not want, if you have not had it before. Talk about what her wishes are as far as feeding tube and other issues like that. I do wish you well! I want to encourage you to read, there are lots of really good books available and get involved in a support group, take care of you too...
My mom finally asked her doctor, "Is there a name for my memory sickness?" He replied,"It's called dementia and there are medicines that will help you." She said, "Well, I'm not going to let it get me down!" I imagine she forgot or suppressed those words, because I had to remind her again about a year later. She didn't know she had it.
She doesn't mention the illness and we don't either, but do comfort her when she gets frustrated with her memory or speech. She's probably had it 7-8 years and is still very functional, but needs assistance in many things. She signed a living trust and DPOA while she still understood what it meant. Best of luck to you with your wife. I also encourage you to read several books on the subject, and pray a lot!
Yes, she has the right to know and prepare herself, perhaps she might have some information to share with her family before she can no longer remembers.
Something NOT to do is try to hammer it home. To what end? I'm not saying you'd do this, but my mother goes around telling my father and anyone else she can corner, how incapacitated he is. It's all about how hard life is on HER. I'm not exaggerating and it took me years before I was willing to say this but bottom line she wants him to abase himself and other people to tell her how sorry they are for her. It's so stressful it's making him worse -- effectively, she's gaslighting him. It's cruel and frankly abusive.
that is cruel... he did not do anything wrong and it is not his fault... I would really encourage you to try to get her to stop treating him that way... take care J
Dirk I'm pretty much in the same boat. He just refuses to accept it. Says the doctors are just out for the money - they're not doing him any good.. Haven't gotten in touch with any support groups yet - but think the time is coming.
It's a difficult situation, but the question is simply stated, and has a simple answer. Use English. Believe me, telling her this once will not be enough. Get used to telling her when she asks you again and again why she can't remember things. Find your peace with God's will for this person. Treat the condtition if you can, but your only options are to either tell her or conceal from her that she has Alzheimer's. It would be nice if you had a third option, but it'a a binary reality. Pick one. And gather some support for yourself. The road ahead is going to be very hard to walk. God Bless you. Good luck.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Take care,
Carol
Some families said that having a family meeting to discuss the diagnosis and to begin preparing (as much as possible) for the future helped. Many had the meeting WITHOUT the person present (especially if they were still in denial). For other families, having the person present helped. By hearing and knowing they would be taken care of ~ and being able to give their input and thoughts on the type of care they want ~ helped them accept the diagnosis.
Best of luck and warm hugs ~ Patti
She doesn't mention the illness and we don't either, but do comfort her when she gets frustrated with her memory or speech. She's probably had it 7-8 years and is still very functional, but needs assistance in many things. She signed a living trust and DPOA while she still understood what it meant. Best of luck to you with your wife. I also encourage you to read several books on the subject, and pray a lot!
she might have some information to share with her family before she can no longer remembers.
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