I may need to transport my wife, who is somewhat incontinent. I don't see how I can enter a public bathroom with her to assist her. I tentatively thought I might fly her out with me to our new destination, once I have completed the physical move, placing her in a nursing home in the interim. But she will need to use the restroom on the plane, and I will have to assist her there. Do airlines make provision for this? If I drive cross-country with her, I will face the public bathroom issue, where my presence will not be tolerated in a lady's bathroom, and her presence will not be acceptable in a men's bathroom.
When we had to transport my ancient / fragile mother, we rented a Motorhome. We could give her a bed, support her body with pillows, seatbelt her in. And it had a built-in toilet with enough privacy so we could help her as needed.
As for driving, where I live there are family restrooms pretty much everywhere. These are large single use restrooms for people who need help in the restroom.
Hey! There's a website for that.
findfamilyrestroom.com/
I would consider taking a third person to help assist. Perhaps a female who is trained. I'd also consider the big picture and not just the bathroom issue. Going on this trip could trigger behavior that you are not expecting. With dementia she may be frightened, confused, agitated and even act out in ways that are scary. Especially in closed in spaces with lots of strangers.
I realize that private travel by plane or travel trailer is expensive, but, if funds I allow, I'd explore it. Perhaps, someone around here, who's done it will chime in.
On the ground, you and your wife can use any facility for people with disabilities, which as far as I am aware are all unisex and have a lot more room for manoeuvre.
I called United a couple of days early and made arrangements for assistance . They were wonderful! On and off without a hitch, aisle and middle seat of course.
For the pitential bathroom problems his Dr recommended immodium for bowels and a nighttime, extra absorbent, Depends. Both worked well and the trip was so easy on both of us.
Safe travels!
There should be Handicap accessible bathrooms everywhere though so both of you getting into the bathroom should not be a problem.
And another point "DAVERO" I found that everyone I encountered was understanding, generous and kind. I had children that would ask their Moms "why is that man so sad" (my Husband made moaning noises) and I would explain to the child that he was not sad but his brain did not work just right any more. Most children have friends or classmates that have been diagnosed with autism so I compare it to that. When adults would ask about the noises I would explain he has Alzheimer's and the noise was a coping mechanism for him. I think at this point everyone has some family member that has some "disability" physical or mental that they understand to some degree.
Do not let the though of not being able to enter a Women's washroom deter you, I am sure you will not have a problem. I would try to find locations that are less crowded though. A restaurant off hours would be better than one right at lunch time. Also keep in mind that travel will be stressful. So many stops will be better. Try for at least every 2 hours. Briefs should be checked at least that often anyway.
Talk to her doctor about the trip and ask for medication that might be of help calming her if it is needed. (very important to check before giving her anything depending on her diagnosis!!)
Best of luck and safe travels.
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