How will you spend the holiday season?
Past:
In my earlier years, I remember some nice times over the festive period. Feeling peace and joy and having a good spirit towards others. Time spent with that special someone made it extra special. The lovely feeling of giving someone a gift that you know they'll enjoy. Watching TV movies, good food, and dinner parties.
Present:
All of the past has gone on the whole. I do miss that independence, having that special partner. I am now a caregiver for my mother for many years now. The holiday season is still special, but in a different way. I get to spend time with my mom. I'm sure my situation is better than some other people on the forum, in that I can still have conversations with mom, and my mom still remembers most things.
In the present I still remember the past things I did, but I remember a buddy of mine in my younger days, we had a blast around holiday season. I remember him because he passed away all of a sudden a long time ago, but this time of the year always brings back good memories of that time.
It will be my mom, me, and we may get a visit from a sibling or two. I'm not on talking terms with my siblings, so it's kind of awkward, plus I am living in the family home, which I am always promptly told. I have not right to say who comes and goes, because it's not my house. Which is fine, I do not have a problem with them visiting their mother. A lot of the history is already in other posts I've written, so will not go into it again.
The most important thing will be just to spend time with my mom, have a nice dinner, watch some good TV movies. I still enjoy the classics. Groundhog Day, Home Alone, Scrooge, Wonderful Life, Planes, Trains, and Automobiles and similar movies. We made the house a little festive; we have Christmas tree, some xmas cards we received from neighbors. There will be some moderate drinks involved too, but not like the old days. I may spend some days listening to some music in the morning.
I just feel it's important to spend good moments with the people we're caring for. Caring is not easy and there are all sorts of issues along the way, all kinds of emotions. We have to watch our own health as caregivers, well as the person we are caring for. So grabbing those good moments, what I've called these small mental escapes, is important & good for us.
Future:
I can't really speak too much about it as no one knows. I hope to cherish the good moments of the past and try to carve out some kind of life, that most likely will not include my siblings, and if lucky, bring some things back from the past.
The above turned into a kind of Scrooge thing with past, present, and future. However I promise you I am not like Scrooge, bar humbug!
I understand that people on the forum will be in a different place right now, different issues to contend with, and people's joy will be relative to these things, and for many it will just be something that comes and goes like any other time of the year, and that's fine too.
With sincere sensitivity to the issues people are contending with right now, and let's face it, it's not just the health of the people we care for and/or our own health; it what's happening in the economy, and the world too.
I want to wish everyone on the forum Love & Peace this holiday season. If you can find strength through the word of people's answers, that's a good thing; I have, and I wish to thank everyone that has given me support through their answers/replies.
Love & Peace.
11 Answers
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Relatives already came and went, which was perfect, as it made their traveling much easier. No madding crowds of people at the airport, or crazy arctic blast weather.
We book the relatives a room at a nearby hotel which has a gym, indoor pool, and breakfasts. Makes them feel more like being on vacation. We let them be free range to visit the sights they want to see without us, which we have seen dozens of times, and at our age can no longer keep up the younger generation.
Enjoy the holidays, everyone !!
From my past experience, the quiet time after looking after hosting for the relatives, is always nice. This is not to say all people don't like spending time with relatives, it varies, and lot of Hollywood Christmas movies have been made on that theme, mainly comedies. I guess some people can relate to them.
Book the hotel for relatives, that's great! I think that's the best of both worlds. Great idea! :)
Wishing you a lovely, festive season.
Love & Peace.
It is important for caregivers who care and give to give to ourselves as well. Does not to be an actual gift, although I don’t mind that at all, but also take time for yourself. For me after Xmas Eve in my house, we are invited to Xmas dinner, so no more work, and I am going to get good book and some time for myself.
Love & Peace.
Love & Peace.
If anyone has been affected by the so once in generation weather. My thoughts go out to you, stay safe & warm. I've seen ABC news and it looks as horrendous! I never thought I'd be seeing things like this, sadly, one of many freak weather patterns we're seeing in our lifetime.
((Warm Hugs))
Love & Peace.
I lost my mom this year, end of August. I had heart surgery the week afterwards. I've been trying to heal, physically and emotionally for some months now.
We are having the family over for Christmas Brunch. It will be crazy with 20 people in the house and we are a LOUD family. I enjoy the day, but will admit I will be 'medicated' all day.
Christmas has NOTHING to do with Christ. So I don't even TRY to make it be so. I love my family and it is a joy (of sorts) to have them around. We have a nice week with no work next week--even ms SIL the Dr. is off--which is fabulous.
Right now I am procrastinating cleaning out the fridges and going shopping.
So--all in all--a 'typical' Christmas for us.
If you have to do all of those things without help. I can see how you would want the holiday season to just fast-forward to the New Year. To be honest I feel the same, except I didn't have do all things you've done.
Getting exhausting & stressed it no way for folks to spend any special day. The things you mentioned you've done, is too much for one person to do alone, it would be good if other people could share the load in preparing things. Please delegate it to someone else the next 10 xmas'es :) Do xmas at someone else's house? I think if you have large family, that all get on well, you can hold xmas at their house for a change.
Sorry to hear about the tough year you've had with the loss of your mom and your own health this year. I thought that was reason enough for you to take a rest and let someone else arrange Christmas this year :(
Love is a good, and if have a loving family, it's good to get together, but I hope they help out on the Christmas Brunch and let you relax, after everything you've done??
I hope you recover from your surgery. I wish you inner peace with your mom passing away not so long ago, I hope there moments you will always treasure.
Love & Peace.
Kindness is a beautiful thing. I suppose kindness is love.
I am glad you have the support you need with your health, and good people are helping you over this Christmas. Your best friend coming over to see you is wonderful. I miss the best friend I had. Cherish this, I'm sure you do.
There's are some songs by the rock band Queen: "You're my best friend" and "Somebody to love" those among many others sum up a big part of life.
I am glad you are doing well and enjoy your new books too.
Love & Peace.
Love & Peace.
From my past experience, the quiet time after looking after hosting for the relatives, is always nice. This is not to say all people don't like spending time with relatives, it varies, and lot of Hollywood Christmas movies have been made on that theme, mainly comedies. I guess some people can relate to them.
Book the hotel for relatives, that's great! I think that's the best of both worlds. Great idea! :)
Wishing you a lovely, festive season.
Love & Peace.
I understand all special days of the calendar will bring about a lot of emotions of how special days of yester-year were spent, for most, I'm sure for many these are mostly happy memories of family or friends that are no longer with us, but we still hold the good memories, like a photo album in our mind, we can always reference those memories. Those good moments are to be treasured.
I wish it was different in my situation. To have 100% supportive siblings in every shape and form when there are issues. It wasn't to be. Several opportunities for them to make it right throughout the years, even after much forgiveness (more than they deserved) for many of their wrong doings. There were times when we had good laughs, special days were shared, but they showed their true colors afterwards, as if those good time didn't mean a thing. For me, that part is a bad & sad situation.
I will enjoy some good moments with my mom. Although I know my sister is visiting and I avoid her (for reasons I mentioned in previous posts), so it kind of brings the mood down, make it an awkward situation, because then I'm confined to one room, when she downstairs I'm upstairs, when she's upstairs I'm downstairs...as I say... very awkward. The same situation when any of my siblings visit.
Anyway I don't want to end my reply on my situation, but finish on a better note.
Lasagna sounds perfect. If people are in the place to have loved ones close on special days or anytime, that's a wonderful thing. Good food is a beautiful thing. Having good people in your life even better.
I wishing you a wonderful festive season with your daughters and have more good moments to cherish.
Love & Peace.
Not so any more. Our finances have dwindled and we can only gift totally to each grandchild the amount the stockings cost every year. So, no stockings, just cash in cards for seven, gifts within the budget for three. (I'm actually quite pleased with what I was able to get within the budget this year.)
We spent the last few days with my dad for his birthday. Last year we stayed there for Christmas after having our family here the week before. This is now his third Christmas without mom. He's going out to dinner today with his housekeeper and two of her friends. Our family is due to start arriving tomorrow. So today, Christmas Day, it will just be my husband and I here, plus the son who lives in the basement will pass through for coffee, I don't expect any real interaction with him.
My husband's hostility has pretty much driven everyone away except for the "have to" events. Even our son who lives a half hour away said they won't be seeing us today and did not want us to come to their house either.
I look forward to the "life" that my grandkids will bring to our house Tuesday when we see them all.
Your past holidays sound like the picture perfect Christmas and I know you hold fond memories of those days. As I do with my past holidays.
Tell me about finances I'm in a similar situation. Much of the downturn brought on by covid19 restrictions and then the war in Europe. If we really want to go back it hasn't been great since 2008 crash.
Getting gifts for those closest to us is enough, and other understand because they'll be in a similar situation. It's a unique time, a terrible time with so many bad events happening in the world at the same time. With our own problems and bigger picture, we then have to find some glimpses of joy, it's a hard time.
When relationships have been given the many chances to heal by one side more than the other, at some stage people have to say, that's enough. Maybe time will change things...but that's only if the person previous given chances to change, actually does change.
((Hugs)) keep stay strong, more power to you! think of those you love or have loved when times get tough, also keep sharing things here on this forum.
Enjoy your time with your grand children.
Love & Peace.