I believe the serious bacterial infection and illness only exasperated symptoms that were already starting to show up, but I’m not sure.
Complication; he is a TBI survivor (2009), and has some ongoing mental deficits from that. He is also an insulin-dependent type 2 diabetic, with mood and cognitive swings (usually mild) if his blood sugar fluctuates - which was certainly part of the problem during the cellulitis hospitalization.
My problem NOW (3 weeks after hospital release), is that he is showing signs that his cognitive abilities have taken a new hit and don’t seem to be recovering, although his diabetes is back under control and the cellulitis has cleared up.
Earlier this week, he went to the store (I’m not sure he should even be driving) to buy tomatoes for a salad and came home with oranges.
One night, I suggested fresh ravioli and green beans for dinner and volunteered to pick them up on my way home if he’d do the cooking. He thought that was great. He started dinner. I went upstairs and, when I realized nearly an hour had passed, went down to check. He had cooked dinner, EATEN dinner and put away the leftovers. When I asked why he hadn’t called me down to dinner, he seemed confused and told me he hadn’t realized I wanted any. We ALWAYS eat dinner together.
Those are just the more noteworthy moments. I keep telling myself he’s still recovering … but I think I may be in denial.
This group usually talk about elderly parents. How do you handle these situations when you are talking to your spouse?
I only say vascular because my late husband who had a massive stroke which caused lots of brain damage when he was 48, developed vascular dementia in his late 60's. He died at the age of 72.
I would most certainly not let your husband drive anymore no matter what he says or how short of a distance you may think it is.
Someone driving with mental decline/dementia is no different than someone driving drunk or high on drugs.
Just think how terrible you would feel if he were to kill or severely injure some innocent person or child. It's not worth it, really it isn't.
It's up to you now to make sure that not only your husband is safe, but also all the people on the road as well.
Plus if the authorities found out that your husband had some mental decline going on and you still let him drive and he was involved in an accident, you both could be sued and lose everything you have.
This journey won't be easy, but you will make it and come out on the other side a much stronger person than you were going into it.
God bless you as you take this very difficult journey with your husband.
I would take a suggested path of notifying the doc of his deficits in advance and have them start the testing to try to see what's going on. In the meantime, I guess you can kind of assume he is entering some kind of dementia and treat him accordingly by changing your expectations and some of the ways you converse with him (like not challenging or questioning him too much, etc.).
Hopefully he is still healing and recovering. Dementia is also a roller coaster and they will have some moments that are better/worse than others.
Best of luck.
I agree with more testing to discount any other causes of his behavior/confusion (besides a UTI). After this is done then request he be given a cognitive exam.
I agree that at least for now I would not have him drive anywhere. This may be the most difficult to do. Make sure there's no reason for him to have to drive anywhere, rather than blatantly telling him he can't drive (only as a last resort, and he may not even be able to remember this).
I wish you success as you find the right diagnosis for him!
This is a time to see his MD with this new information, and start a diary of such incidents daily. I think he should immediately have an evaluation for Urinary Tract infection. He may have been catheterized during his recent bouts. He may have an infection from this.
The point is that this requires medical evaluation; you will not get much out of a Forum of strangers who do not know your hubby.
Good luck.
Does hubby not realize he's having memory problems? He may still BE recovering from cellulitis, but he is also exhibiting serious signs of cognitive decline. Is he unaware of it? Next time there's a blatant memory lapse, tell him you think it's a good idea for him to see the doctor for a full medical and cognitive workup. You're concerned about him, and have noticed his memory is worsening. If he gets argumentative, just let it go but insist he see the doctor for a follow up to the infection. You can send his doctor an email beforehand giving him examples of DHs memory issues and ask that he be tested for dementia. Some elders suffer from anosognosia which is the inabilty to recognize their own deficits. Its quite common, actually....my mother was one such person.
About the driving, tell DH you'd like to drive because it's been awhile, assuming you DO drive. Make a habit of going to the drivers side of the car to get in, and he'll go to the passenger side....in time, it'll become the new norm. If you don't drive, give the car a flat tire and call an Uber. It's just too risky to endanger your lives, or others lives, if DH is cognitively impaired and without the proper reflexes in place to drive.
Wishing you the best of luck with a difficult situation.