We are attempting to coax her into assisted living and think her assets should last for a few years. We know Medicaid will assist with her expenses if she moves into a nursing home. But what if her assets are depleted while she is still in assisted living and is not ready for a nursing home? As her guardians are we now responsible for her bills?
The activities of a guardian are court supervised and one would think that as a result it is difficult to commit malfeasance. The record of the guardianship profession points otherwise though of course there are many competent professional guardians. I say this only to point out that the courts can be tolerant of honest mistakes.
Just do your best and all will be fine.
Virginia has a Medicaid waiver that will assist with the cost of care in assisted living. Often there are waiting lists for these programs so you may wish to investigate soon rather than later. Here is the website: http://www.dmas.virginia.gov/Content_pgs/ltc-home.aspx
If your mother in law is the surviving spouse of a veteran she may also be eligible for a cash benefit known as Aid and Attendance. Do a search on this site for lots of info on this benefit or go to va.gov.
Some Assisted Living Facilities (ALFs) will accept Medicaid payments, especially from residents who have been private pay for a specified period, such as 3 years. Discuss this upfront when you are looking at options, and use it as one of the criteria for selecting a care center.
My daughter works in a lovely ALF. They require private pay initially, but she says that the majority of residents are on Medicaid or some other kind of aid, simply because they have been residents a long time and have run out of their own funds.
The lovely ALF that hosts my caregiver support group has a certain number of rooms set aside (worked into their budget) for Medicaid. These almost always go to long-term residents who have run out of private funds. On the other hand, we found a nice ALF for my mother that accepted Medicaid right from the beginning.
Financial considerations are an important reality to work into the criteria while you are searching for suitable placement.
By the way, since your MIL has dementia, another consideration is where will she go if/when the dementia advances to the point where she needs more care? At the place where my daughter works, they will continue to care for their residents well beyond the point described in their contract. (In other words, while they won't admit a new person with obvious dementia-care needs, they will do their best with established residents.) They also have a separate dementia care unit so that if they are well beyond what the staff can provide in the ALF they can be transferred there. These are important considerations. Many persons with early dementia can function fine in ALF, but as dementia advances that may no longer be true. Then what? Find out the answers as you research places.
I hope that you can coax MIL into assisted living and that you find a great place for her. Since you are her guardians, you can place her without her consent, but having her accept the placement will be much more pleasant if you can bring it about!
Good luck!