When I do see them I have tried to tell them about diagnosis of moderate to severe dementia but they blow me off because he can hold it together for an hour or two and they don't realize how vunerable and paranoid and negative he is. We have been married for 25 years and they resent me just because I have a heart beat. How do I handle them believing his false accusations? He thinks I am hiding documents, stealing, claims I scream at him all the time, says I won't get him new clothes that he asked for----ALL NOT TRUE, NONE OF IT. I have always been a problem solver but this situation is getting way over my head.
I agree, maybe your DH needs something for anxiety. And you are not the only person thats DH has thrown accusations at. His reality is screwed up. Paranoia is a big problem.
Do you work? Is there Adult care near you. I had Mom in 3x a week. They came and got her and brought her back. Even showered her for me. Gave me a much needed break. He is only going to worsen. You may want to start looking at options.
My husband has younger onset Dementia. He is 63. His mother and brother blame me for it. They have not once enquired after me and how I am coping. His mother will not even look at my husband by Skype because SHE doesn’t want to be upset even though she knows how it adversity effects him
they are suspicious of any info I have given to them so only communicate through my eldest son
i am extremely upset and angry at their treatment towards both of us but I have learnt to just focus my attention on myself and looking after my husband. However, the day will come when they will know how I feel
my husband is very good natured which I count as a blessing. If I was you I would get legal advice and proper medical opinion before going any further and get power of attorney and power of medical care.
Let us know how this part goes
If it's still bothering you, you could copy the medical reports and send them to them, preferably with supporting literature to introduce them to the wonderful world of dementia. Check out alz.org which has lots of resources for families and caregivers.
Are you hoping or expecting they'll become more involved as your husband's condition deteriorates? Do you actually want them around more?
If they have resented you for 25 years, it hardly seems they will change now, does it?
What is your plan for his care going forward?