I am a Long term care dementia nurse and don't know where to start. My husband has suffered two brainstem strokes in the past four months and his dementia symptoms have increased. He is very loud, and abusive and I have no idea how to get him diagnosed. We got a repossession notice on his car. He won't let me access his money, but I did arrange a repayment plan. How do I start the ball rolling on diagnosing him without him thinking I am deceiving. He is ultra paranoid, sleeps all day up all night, driving very badly residual vision problem from strokes, ceased all social activities, watches tv all day and is on facebook, extremely paranoid, if I leave him for 30 minutes I was cheating on him, loses everything and accuses me and our teenage daughter of stealing his belongings. Help Me Please
Could you get your husband to an appointment, saying it is a follow-up on his strokes? I'm sure you know the value of at least a tentative diagnosis and treatment plan. Do everything in your power to get him evaluated, even if it involves some trickery you would never have considered when your husband was well.
Meanwhile, please arrange for your husband to stop driving. If possible, have this come from his doctor or the DMV, without his being aware of your role in the decision. Giving up driving was the absolute hardest part of having dementia, from my husband's perspective. It is heartbreaking to have to do that, but the safety of more than your husband is at stake.
Come and post often and let us know how things are going. You are on a difficult journey and it can help to associate with others who have or are travelling it.