My husband (Parkinsonism, early dementia) has always been quiet, even withdrawn. Now he has "gone dark" and is silent, especially with me. I feel selfish being hurt and angry, but I am.
Most days I have lots of interaction with others, practice mindfulness and am in therapy, but coming home to such a dark house is so sad. I plan many cultural events for the both of us, but even then he isn't here. This has honestly been a problem in our marriage (second) all along but it's much worse. It feels like this is so personal!
He would never agree to a day program. Time for AL and maybe more stimulation for him and less hurt and loneliness for me? I can't imagine doing that to him. He is happy and comfortable here.
Thoughts? I hope people respond to this.
He will get much more stimulation from an Adult Day Care Center than he will in an assisted living facility that's for sure.
It sounds like his dementia and Parkinson's has made this issue much worse for him and you, and for that I am sorry. But yet you say that he is "happy and comfortable" at your house, while you are not. Therein lies the dilemma huh?
Until you get things figured out for you both, please continue to do things that bring you joy. And if the day care is for sure completely out, then perhaps you may want to look into hiring some outside help to come in to be with him, so you can stay away as long as possible to be around people who lift you up instead of dragging you down.
I wish you the very best in getting this all figured out.
If he won't leave, your only option if you are very unhappy is to move out yourself. And hire help to come in and do what needs to be done for him.
Good luck.
Have you contacted a Parkinson's support group? Sometimes you can learn more about a situation from those who are experienced than searching online.