Medicaid allows for splitting off assets. My GF's father needed care her mother became the Community Spouse. They had 60k in assets. It was split 30k for him, 30k for her. His 30k was spent down and Medicaid applied for. She remained in the home and had a car. She received enough of their monthly income, SS and pension, to live on.
You need to see an elder lawyer as said. They are versed in Medicaid.
No clue. The state but do not spend you’re money on him please do not it will be the hugest mistake you could make. You’re money will run out. It’s not you’re problem that sounds harsh I no but how about it’s not fair to you. It is an emotional roller coaster
Yes. Go see an elder care attorney immediately to ask about Medicaid and what to do to apply for it and/or how to get your husband placed in Skilled Nursing and not leave you penniless in the process. BEFORE he sends YOU to the hospital or, God forbid, kills you.
Dementia can turn a wonderful person into a violent one in a New York minute. Don't think otherwise. Read what BarbBrooklyn had to say and take her words to heart. Seriously.
Then make an appointment with an elder care attorney right away. And call 911 if he as much as raises a hand to you in the meantime.
My dear sweet uncle with dementia started wandering, so his wife installed deadbolts that she had the keys to. Put them on a ribbon around her neck.
He was determined to "wander" out on the highway. He beat her black and blue trying to get the keys. This apparently went on for months when one of their "kids" showed up for a surprise visit when on a business trip.
His dad went to memory care the next week. Sadly, my aunt passed away a few months later, we have no doubt due in part to the stress she endured during the months he was violent, her stress at keeping this secret from the family and the "shame" of having to place him.
Ironically, he lived for an additional two years after her death; he positively thrived in MC.
your story so sad barb … but we often hear caregivers die earlier than the one cared for. Not all dementia is gentle … lots aggressive violent behaviour with non stop stress … physical and mental for caregiver… we need to realize when it’s all too much for us to handle… despite the guilt … care places vary … and try find best you can ,visit often , and be a loving family advocate for the one you love … instead of the mean bitter exhausted caregiver with no love left to give.
"Out of control" means you are in danger. If your husband is diagnosed with dementia, or undiagnosed but in need of a workup call an ambulance. It is crucial that you say your husband is "out of control" and that you are "in danger". When they come he will likely act up a lot, which will make it even more likely that he will get taken to the ER. Once there ask to speak with Social Services and tell them that your husband cannot return home. See an elder law attorney to help you to apply for medicaid or whatever else you can, to get division of property going. Your home will remain out of the equation and they will fix it so that some of his finances go to his care, with medicaid supplementation, and that you have monies for your own living. I am so sorry, but you badly need professional help. Start with Social Workers and tell them the facts, then move on to the Elder Law Attorney if needed. You don't tell us a lot about your situation, but this is a place to start.
When your husband becomes violent, call 911 and have him transported to the ER for a psych eval.
Refuse to take him back home. It is an "unsafe discharge". Repeat these words as often and as loudly as you have to over the phone. Do NOT show up at the hospital.
Have you contacted a certified Eldercare attorney to help you apply for Long Term Care Medicaid for him? Medicaid has no wish to impoverish you, the Community Spouse.
You need to see an elder lawyer as said. They are versed in Medicaid.
Dementia can turn a wonderful person into a violent one in a New York minute. Don't think otherwise. Read what BarbBrooklyn had to say and take her words to heart. Seriously.
Then make an appointment with an elder care attorney right away. And call 911 if he as much as raises a hand to you in the meantime.
Good luck
My dear sweet uncle with dementia started wandering, so his wife installed deadbolts that she had the keys to. Put them on a ribbon around her neck.
He was determined to "wander" out on the highway. He beat her black and blue trying to get the keys. This apparently went on for months when one of their "kids" showed up for a surprise visit when on a business trip.
His dad went to memory care the next week. Sadly, my aunt passed away a few months later, we have no doubt due in part to the stress she endured during the months he was violent, her stress at keeping this secret from the family and the "shame" of having to place him.
Ironically, he lived for an additional two years after her death; he positively thrived in MC.
Please...get help from 911 soon.
we need to realize when it’s all too much for us to handle… despite the guilt … care places vary … and try find best you can ,visit often , and be a loving family advocate for the one you love … instead of the mean bitter exhausted caregiver with no love left to give.
You need an attorney and all your pertinent paperwork, if you have not already made out a trust/will.
In our case, if I were to place DH in a facility, I would not be destitute from paying for his care. But it needs to be set up in such a way.
Refuse to take him home. Then stick to your guns.
I am so sorry, but you badly need professional help. Start with Social Workers and tell them the facts, then move on to the Elder Law Attorney if needed. You don't tell us a lot about your situation, but this is a place to start.
Refuse to take him back home. It is an "unsafe discharge". Repeat these words as often and as loudly as you have to over the phone. Do NOT show up at the hospital.
Have you contacted a certified Eldercare attorney to help you apply for Long Term Care Medicaid for him? Medicaid has no wish to impoverish you, the Community Spouse.