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My mom also hates daycare, I know it is because they treat the day adults differently than they do the residents, unfortunately I have no choice I have to work. Yes, maggiemarshall that would be the ultimate to have someone come into your home however they are very costly, many twice the cost of adult daycare, I almost financially ruined myself trying to pay for in home care, as I call it glorified babysitting. The reason I take my mom to adult daycare is because she cannot be left alone, she has dementia and Parkinson's.

Mema66, I do know that it might be the daycare you take him to, I was taking my mom to one adult daycare that she liked and did not mind going, they had a schedule, they played memory games and they would give them prizes, they had movie time so things were broke up and my mom was happy there, unfortunately there hours did not work 8-4:30, and right now I just cannot afford, so I was lucky and found a adult daycare that has a grant and offers 6 hours of daycare free, and for the next two months the grant will cover hours from 5am through 11pm, a true blessing. So am I being selfish because even though she really dislikes this particular daycare at least it has given me the ability to work and have time away from my mom, I do have someone come and stay with my mom at home 2 days a week, another true blessing, so she only has to go to daycare 3 days a week not bad, and I always explain to my mom, I have to work money does not grow on trees and we are not independently wealthy so please mom do this for me usually I can reason with her to go. Mema66 i thought that by taking her to an adult daycare that was also a retirement/nursing home that my mom would enjoy being with others her age, unfortunately they treat the adult day care people differently, they keep them in round circle area, they have to their own dining area, they really do not interact them with residents which is why my mom really does not like going they just leave the adult day people sitting in this open area no tv, they do have radio they sometimes turn on and they have birds for them to watch, she is bored at this daycare and the other she was not hmmmmm maybe with me being able to really work for the next two months I just may be able to bank so money and take her to the one she likes. So if you can, maybe look into other facilities for adult daycare.
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You don't say how long he's been going. Keep in mind, with alzheimer's, as the disease progresses, this should pass. Until it does pass, could y'all do something pleasurable on the way home...like a cup of coffee, ice cream?
I too encourage you not to give up your time.
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Yes, spend the money you're spending on daycare to have someone come into your home twice a month. Make plans for yourself...maybe lunch with family or a friend...going To the show...a trip to the library...water aerobics...something just for you.

He won't like it?? He doesn't have a voice. You have hell to pay when you get home? Pay your h*ll in your bedroom with the door closed.

IF YOU CAN, you need to teach your husband that everything good in his life comes from you. And if he's going to be pissed off? He's going to be pissed off alone.

Stop feeling sorry for him. Start taking care of your own little self.
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