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Husband was a long-time smoker, 56 plus years. He’s had COPD and was using an inhaler while still smoking. He got Covid which made it worse, but he recovered and was sent home from the hospital with oxygen. Once he felt better back to smoking, he went. The oxygen went back. Four months later back to the hospital and again the oxygen came home. Now he’s on it all the time and doesn’t need to be. He hasn’t left the house in almost 9 weeks, and I think it’s because he’s afraid he’ll go straight to the gas station for cigarettes! When I start up with him to take a shower, get up and move around he tells me to send him back to the hospital! He didn’t shower there either, but they gave him sponge baths. So now he considers sponge baths to be compatible with a shower.



The extent of our conversation is good morning and goodnight with hardly anything in between. I keep my distance because I’m not about to add nose plugs to my ear plugs! I’m at my wits end between this damn machine going all day and all night and the smell of him I’m just disgusted! Thinking of going out and buying him a carton of cigarettes if he smokes them outside the way he used to! Anything is better than this! Has anyone gone through anything like this?

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Like any addiction there is withdrawal. Why do you feel he does not need oxygen? Do you have a pause ox meter where you can see whatbhis numbers are. I have been told that the normal numbers when suffering from COPD can be lower than normal and be exceptable. You may want to bring up this sudden change to his doctor.
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Reply to JoAnn29
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I just wanted to add, that my neighbor quit, about a year ago.
He has bad PTSD from iraq, we keep a little bit of an eye on him, pay it forward to are services members.

I'm actually just putting 2 and 2 together now. He got extremely suicidal, and texted me some really strange stuff, I called the VA on him and im realizing now it was the same time he quit smoking.

So just be careful watchful, and understand how darn difficult this is.

Some say it's harder than getting of heroin.

Good luck, let us know how things are going
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Reply to Anxietynacy
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He maybe afraid of falling . You could hire a CNA to come and Bathe him they have special chairs that slide across .
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Reply to KNance72
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I quit smoking about 5 years ago, hubby, about 6 months in now.

I'm not sure if the shower things is related, it could be something that he is scared of falling, does he get dizzy?

Husbands doing great. But he wanted to quit, your husband may not of wanted to, but has to for his health. Maybe he can find a better reason, Mine was I like to walk, smoking and walking didn't work so well. My husband was money.

I will also say. It's been about a week, but I occasionally smell it on him, I'm sure he has a stash in his garage, that's ok if he has to once in a while, now after six months I don't fear him going back to a full time smoker. He will complete stop when he is ready.

As for his not talking to you, it can lead to deep depression, which actually while I'm writing could lead to not wanting to shower. Cigarettes become your very best but toxic friend. They are always there when you need them. And the depression can really stink, that with the depression from health issues.
Has he considered meds for depression.

I had one really strange symptom, for about 2 months, also a very embarrassing symptom. I couldn't stop passing gas, and it was the smelliest farts . Id gag myself, and I really stayed far away from people, I stayed away from everyone for about 2 months.

Best of luck

I will tell you this
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Anxietynacy Jun 6, 2024
I will also add and I know non smokers and medical knowledge people, will tell you cold turkey is the only way. But I think it's different for everyone, and if someone needs to have that one morning cig for a month or so , for me I think that's the best way, but that was me. Cold turkey definitely would cause me depression. I know say that will not make some happy. But this is coming from a nicotine addict.
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Until you get this all figured out, order on either Walmart.com or Amazon the extra large body wipes and waterless shampoo and conditioner caps for him to use, or for you to use on him. It's better than nothing.
Have you checked his oxygen levels lately(with an oximeter)to make sure that he's getting enough oxygen to his brain? Because if he's not that could be a major cause of what's going on.
You can hire aides to come to your home to bathe him whether a bed bath or help in the shower as well.
And if you find that he's becoming more despondent, you may want to talk to his doctor about possibly placing your husband under hospice care. At least then they will send out aides at least twice a week to bathe him and it will be covered 100% under his Medicare. They will also cover his oxygen, any needed equipment, supplies and medications, again all covered 100% under his Medicare, along with a nurse coming once a week to start.
I may be jumping the gun with hospice, but maybe I'm not. I would talk to his doctor and see what they think.
Best wishes.
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Reply to funkygrandma59
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Sort of sounds like depression to me. What do you think? Does he seem depressed to you?
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Reply to NeedHelpWithMom
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If you buy him the cigarettes, you are his enabler.

His mental health needs to be evaluated so you can find out what's really going on. He's not normal. And you shouldn't have to go to extreme measures in order to live comfortably in your own home.

People are being studied due to brain/cognitive changes that are believed to be the result of having Covid. Maybe that's his problem, so ask his doctor about it. The studies are interesting, and I personally know some participants. Read up on it.

From New England Journal of Medicine:
https://www.nejm.org/doi/full/10.1056/NEJMoa2311330#:~:text=Poor%20memory%20and%20difficulty%20thinking,may%20have%20lasting%20cognitive%20consequences.

From University of Cambridge in the UK:
https://www.cam.ac.uk/research/news/cognitive-impairment-from-severe-covid-19-equivalent-to-20-years-of-ageing-study-finds
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Reply to Fawnby
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Have you asked for a caregiver - bathing assistant from the insurance? I found that my daddy would not shower himself but once I got a person in to give him a bath he never argued. I believe you may need to ask the doctor to write an order for it. Check with his primary doctor or insurance.
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Reply to Ohwow323
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It is anyone's guess here.
Could be severe depression from stopping smoking.
Could be that he was deteriorating more than you know and is a good deal worse since his last hospitalization. They say people often stop smoking shortly before they DIE of smoking too much.
Could be lack of O2 getting up to the brain.

You have asked your hubby?
I think that perhaps a low dose anti depressant may be a great help here to help him bridge the gap. My best guess is that this is depression which often manifests as anger and withdrawal, but not knowing hubby or history it is merely a guess.

I would speak now with his MD. Good luck. Hope you will update us.
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