He hung up on me yesterday. He says he doesn't want to live anymore. I've tried to call the nurses but they're hard to get ahold of, but I don't know if they're giving him his medicine for dementia or not.
Each time I call him he seems to be more angry each time and cussing..
I don't know how to handle him, so I turn the phone off. He said yesterday he thought they took his glasses because they were afraid he would take the glass out and he would cut his throat. He's now expressing that he doesn't want to live anymore. I did not tell the nurse that, I don't know if I should. I don't need him Baker acted he needs to be able to go back to the nursing home where he came from when the Covid-19 is over. Any advice? I don't want to feel guilty, but I can't take him home. I just had a stent put in my heart and after that he forgot I was in the hospital and basically attacked my daughter and myself and that's why he is where he is.
Call the nurses station at the hospital and ask for the doctor assigned to your husband to call. Ask what meds are being administered and tell her/him how agitated he is on the phone.
Call the hospital's administrative office and ask for the number of the patient advocate office if you are not getting callbacks from staff. Also, find out when shift changes take place on his unit. The first and last hour of any shift is a bad time to call.
As to guilt, the first seven posts today claim guilt as their current badge. I don't get it. Have you all become killers, robbers, meanies? Or do you really mean you feel helpless to make things better for him? Isn't that what you really are? Helpless to make it better for him, and in pain? It is time to meet with family and decide that this is not the way anyone wants to spend years and years, helpless, ill, a captive to a system that drains them of dignity. Discuss palliative care. Discuss what the chances are of a meaningful and fulfilling life for him going forward. So sorry for all you are going through.
Enoughisenough, I think you should prepare yourself. Covid-19 is a virus that effects some people very badly.
Your husband needed a NH, right now he needs hospital care. These are facts. You can't take him home. Another fact.
He can cuss all he wants & be angry at life. That's ok. He can fight the brave fight of life. Maybe he will win another round.
Just visit if you are allowed & hold his hand. Agree life is sometimes sh1te.
Don't feel guilty about anything. Just take care of YOURSELF and let the calls go to voice mail. YOU choose a time of day to talk to DH, and then keep the convo light and fluffy. Do speak with the nurse about his meds, and perhaps he can be given something to calm him down a bit. I really feel that if he was TRULY a suicide risk (ie: likely to use the glass from his eyeglasses to cut his throat), the hospital WOULD send him off for a psych evaluation, with or without your approval.
Good luck!
Your husband is taking his frustration out on you but you are not in a position to deal.
When my mother started behaving like this, the advice from the professionals was that we needed to protect ourselves a bit more, that dementia did this sort of thing and that as soon as we were not there, my mother was fine again. To start with I was disbelieving but I managed to see her before she saw me (on a few occasions) and she seemed fine, her behaviour changed when we visited. She talked about suicide too.
Myself and my stepfather were 'triggers' to the behaviour. My mother was used to us 'saving' her. In this instance we couldn't.
My heart goes out to you. This is a hugely stressful time. Good luck with it all and stay safe. xx
If he has to take medication, he is also "bothered" at sometime inappropriate times, such as sleeping or trying to get some sleep to take meds.
Then there is being "confined" in bed, sometimes hooked up to a machine making it uncomfortable at times. Add that to the tv being high up on the wall and trying to figure out the remote control, no wonder he is acting this way.
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