This may be an odd comment or question, but my 61 yo husband has an unclear dementia early Alzhimer's Dx. He just let me into his medical record and phone yesterday. Has been having "amnestic dementia with short term memory symptoms" plus receptive communication issues noticed by me since January. I found that he has also lost his moral integrity.. his phone was filled with porn. This is highly out of line with his godly history and behavior. He never ever was into that. He has had the highest of moral behavior in all his years. He admitted his problem has been just in the last year.. confirmed by the google history.
Besides my being devastated, I also wonder if this kind of drastic personality change is part of the disease? If it is, it may be better explained in the wonderful loyal faithful and honest man. I am now getting therapy soon and seeing a lawyer for DPOA soon. His impulsive and non-self controlled behavior is SO SO weird! Any insights?
The boundaries of behavior in his brain are going away due to disease. Maybe between medications for him and redirection of him to other interests, you can find some peace. He is the same man, but with a brain disease.
It was maybe for the best that he started this behavior when he did. It helped me to realize the extent of his condition at the time, which he had hidden fairly well. It gave me the impetus to get POA's made, look at his business affairs that were suffering and get control of those as well, and start to put together a plan for he and my mother knowing they would need assistance in the near future. It is a long and arduous journey, I wish you the best!!
I realized that was the cause of the change in his personality. It wasn't "sin" but rather mental sickness that he can't control. So here we are, three and a half years later, things have gotten worse, especially the super-spirituality. I know from the support of folks here that there is no going back, he won't get better, and I now understand that "it is the dementia talking" and not him.
The filters are slowly turning off and you will watch more change happen in your husband. And sadly you can't reverse that. You will hang on until you know the time has come for him to live a safer place. The best thing you can do right now, I think, is find local support or online support (online is my only option). I am so grateful for a group of ladies that I have been online with since the mid-90s.
Make sure all your legal papers are in order. Fortunately we did that after watching a friend deal with so much when her mother died suddenly at a young age. We realized we needed to spare our children from that so got everything drawn up ten years ago. You need more than just a DPOA.
As for the impulse control issues. Please consider installing child controls on all phones, computers, and televisions to curb this behavior. Men tend to be "visual" in their desires, so control the visual input he receives since the world sure won't.
I think I'll leave it there. What matters most, surely, is how you and he decide to manage life for the best going forward.
Other people, among them your therapist and lawyer, may think it's best you face up to less palatable possibilities about the past but I don't agree that would help you. Look forward and decide between the two of you what your priorities are going to be now.
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