I am 86 and am as physically independent as is possible. AL is my own choice, but how do I accept the "loss" of so much I have to let go of?

Change is always hard and it will be an adjustment. It is an emotional loss. I applaud that you took the initiative to do this on your own. I hope you quickly adjust to your new life and that you are happy.

Emily ,
You sound like a very lovely sensible woman . Change is HARD. This is perfectly normal to feel as you do . But you also have a good attitude about trying to make the best of your new phase of life . I wish you well !!
I’m nearly 3 decades younger but aspire to make the best of things as I age . That is what I learned from taking care of elderly who didn’t do that and wasted time being angry all the time .

I am 81. I call this NORMAL.
Why would we NOT have a problem with all we are giving up? I can tell you I pride myself in downsizing. I was a collector and had this pottery collection and that one. Now I am down to two and downsizing THEM. I have torn down my photo albums, got rid of duplicates, and thrown out many things my daughter doesn't want from me and I should not leave for her to get rid of. The photos are down to one neat arranged plastic box that says "S. Look at these once and then THROW". She's capable at early 60s of deciding what to meld with her OWN stuff! All the things that were memories are passed on to kids already, or done away with.

PS that stuff I let go of? Includes a beautiful cabin, all glass, with a hedgerow in which the deer and foxes played. You know, I don't miss it? I still walk that land in my heart and mind any time I want. The family ornaments? No one really wanted them. I gave them away. For a tiny bit it hurt. It doesn't now. All of that--all of it--I just don't get to take it with me other than in my heart while I live.

Heck Emily. You and me? We alREADY faced down some changes in our lives, right? I changed out MEN more than a few times. We could likely sit together in the gazebo where my bro was and gossip quite happily together a while, and then retire to our own little room(s).

I think you can do it. D., my brother said "You know, hon, this is like a 60s commune sometimes. WE all bicker about whether the shades should be up to get some sun in the common room or whether it's too much glare. We have the occ. rough words or bicker. But we have cottage meetings to clear it up and at least we don't have to decide who cooks".

I think you can do it. You are fretting about it and we always fret about change. That's fine. Shows you think about it. Shows you are a careful person who cares about it.
I think you'll be fine. And you are a year or so ahead of me --should I live so long--so I hope you will come HERE and tell ME how it goes!

House is neat and spare and more open and to tell the truth I have come to LIKE it that way.
I am somewhat reclusive. Not very social. Not a dresser in that I wear my jeans, a tee and a sweater daily. But, a little socializing, a few games, a shared meal in the common room looked kind of good when my bro did it (he was 7 years my senior.)

Emily,

It’s perfectly normal to experience a sense of loss as you transition into a new phase of your life. You’re saying goodbye to being fully independent but you’re gaining security in other areas.

You seem to be fully aware of how you feel about your move into assisted living. It’s healthy to acknowledge your feelings instead of suppressing them.

I am not worried about you. You have the right attitude. You will adjust accordingly and grow to embrace your new surroundings.

Wishing you peace of mind as you continue on this journey and much happiness in your assisted living facility.

I think the grief that accompanies major life changes just has to be accepted as natural, and hopefully with time you will adjust and even prefer your new normal.